Search & Rescue: Chapter 8

Llanview...

He was standing on the porch running his hands through his hair, wondering what had happened. Everything was finally falling into place, he had realized the feelings he had been burying deep inside, he was ready to tell her, and now he not only lost her, but his son as well, "No!" he turned to knock on the door, when the sound of tires squealing filled his ears.

At the sound of the noise she ran to the door, opening it she stood shocked when she saw that Bo was standing there. Seeing her tears, he held his arms out and she immediately fell into his arms, he moved his hand to the back of her head and caressed her, "Shhh, honey, it's going to be all right." Looking over at Mathtew, "Hey champ can you call 911, tell them there is an accident out front?" Matthew nodded as he picked up the phone. Bo walked Nora over to the couch, helping her sit, "I need to go check outside, I will be right back." She simply nodded as she pulled Matthew onto the couch with her.

Port Charles...

She walked into her bedroom after hanging up the phone with Ned. She had thought they had a chance at trying to make a life together but not now. He was having a child....a child that she couldn't give him. She knew he loved Kristina as his own, but nothing can compare to the connection he would have with his biological child. She couldn't take that away from him...she wouldn't take that away from him. Their chance for happiness had come and gone.

Back at the gatehouse Ned stood there speechless just staring at her. She stood up and walked over to him; snaking her hands around his waist, "Cat got your tongue, daddy?"

"What...oh", he says stepping out of her embrace. He turned back around and looked at her running his hands over his face, "Pregnant...are you sure? I mean I thought you were supposed to have difficulties getting pregnant, and well...we were only together a couple of times since the breakup."

"Of course I'm sure, and you know that sometimes Drs. are wrong." He walks over and picks his jacket up off the window seat and starts to put it on. "Where are you going?"

"I'm sorry Skye...I can't talk about this right now. I need to take a walk; clear my head."

She watched him walk out the door. She walked over to the couch and pulled out her cell phone and quickly dialed his number, "Jax....I need to see you. I'm coming over."

Ned pulled out his cell phone and called the main house. He waited out by the main house until Alice arrived to watch the girls. He watched as Skye's car disappeared down the long driveway. He sighed and took off down the driveway towards town.

*~*

Nora had taken Matthew back up to bed and was sitting on the sofa nursing a beer when Bo finally returned an hour and a half later. When he got outside he realized that it was Coulson in the car, drunk, and he wanted to make sure everything was handled properly. He had no idea how Nora was going to take this news, but he did know that he did not want the complete integrity of the DA's office ruined.

He shook his head as he walked back into her house, silently walking over to her, where she held the beer she was holding out to him, "Need a drink, Commish?" The earlier conversation came back to him and a dark look crossed his face. Immediately regretting her choice of words, she moved over, patting the seat next to her, "I'm sorry, let's start over."

He sat down beside her, but before he got a chance to speak, his cell phone rang, sighing, he picked it up, "Buchanan."

"Commissioner, is it true that Daniel Coulson crashed his car while driving under the influence," Todd Manning sneered.

"No comment, MANNING."

Nora looked up at the tone of his voice and watched as he clicked the phone shut. "What's going on Bo? What did Todd want?"

"The car that caused the accident was Coulson, apparently he had a little too much to drink and lost control of his car."

"Was anyone hurt?"

"It looks like he is in a coma, but he should come out of it. Although I am not sure his ambitions will survive."

She looked in Bo's eyes, there was something else there, she really wanted to talk to him about the ring, but first she needed to know what was going on with him, "What else Bo?"

"Gabrielle was in the car with him, she didn't make it."

He said it flat, and he realized that although he was sorry she was dead, he wasn't sorry she was out of his life. The guilt washed over his face, and Nora misread it to think that he was grieving her death, now was not the right time to bring them up, or their future. His phone rang again, "Buchanan."

"Commissioner, the press is at the station in droves, I think you need to come down here."

"On my way." He looked at Nora, apologies in his eyes, "I need to go to the station," he turned to leave, "We'll talk later?" She nodded as she absentmindedly played with the ring on her finger.

As the door closed behind him, she saw Alexis' card sticking out of her datebook, and decided to give her a call, she picked up the phone and hesitated for a moment before she began to dial...

*~*

Alexis stepped out of the shower a half hour after stepping into it, the once steaming hot water turning to cold, shocking her back to the present. She walked into her bedroom, tying her robe tightly around her. She walked over to her closet and pulled out an old box from up on the highest shelf. She walked back over to her bed and set the box down, running her hands over the top of the dusty lid. She breathed in and breathed out before finally taking the lid off. She reached in and pulled it out. She sat down on the bed and ran her fingers over the buttons; the tears welling up in the corner of her eyes. After a few minutes she set it down on her nightstand; the sounds of the rainforest filling the room. She leaned back against her headboard pulling her legs tight against her chest. She glanced down at the bracelet on her wrist, no longer keeping the tears at bay. "I love you, Ned Ashton, I'm just so sorry we missed our chance. She was brought out of her thoughts by the ringing of her cell phone, "Alexis Davis."

"Hi, Alexis," she glanced at the clock, realizing how late it was for the first time, "I'm sorry it's so late, I just wanted to call and see how you were healing from ...well from everything."

"Nora, it's so good to hear from you....actually I'm glad you called," she wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand,"....I'm healing fine...physically. How about you?"

"Physically," she let out a chuckle, "I'm fine," she swirled the remaining beer in the bottle she had been nursing earlier, "How were the girls, happy to see you?"

"Well at least we've got the physical part down pat...as for the girls, they were ecstatic. I bet your son was thrilled to have his mommy home with him," she looked over at the sound machine and switched it off, the memories too hard to bare while talking on the phone.

"Yes, yes he was…" she looked at the stairs, "although he is a bit disappointed he isn't staying with his father anymore."

"Oh...well I'm sure he'll bounce back now that you're home and he can return to his normal routine." She thought about Kristina and Brook, especially Brook, since Kristina was too little to understand all that was going on, "Kids are resilient that way."

"He shouldn't have to be," a tear escaped her eye, she never heard Matthew sneak onto the stairs, "I never wanted to bring another child into this world, not like this, I hurt Rachel bad enough." Matthew ran back up the stairs, tears in his eyes, and quickly dressed.

"Rachel?....oh right I'm sorry...I forgot you had mentioned that you had a grown daughter. Well I'm sure it can't possibly be as bad as you think. Despite our faults our children will always find a way to forgive and love us. So I take it your son's birth wasn't exactly planned?"

"Oh no, actually Bo and I had been talking and trying for quite some time," she smiled at the memories, "but then when Bo's son, Drew died," the smile quickly replaced by a frown, "Bo doesn't handle grief well," she thought of earlier this evening when his tone went flat as he told her about Gabrielle, she sighed, "I almost lost him, I told him I was pregnant to bring him back, but some mixed up test results told me he couldn't have children...and then, then I did something, that I will regret til the day I die."

Alexis could sense the pain in her friend's voice even through the phone line, "Nora...believe it or not I know exactly how you feel. I did something horrible to Ned many years ago and I'll also regret it until the day I die."

"I'm sure what you did could never come close to what I did to Bo. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I could never love anyone the way I loved, no, the way I love him, and yet I slept with another man, to give the love of my life a child, and then lied about it, until eventually he found out the truth in the worst possible way and our life together ended. For the last 5 years we believed Matthew was another man's son," the tears continued to fall, "He missed the first years of his son's life because I slept with another man, I don't know how I ever thought he could forgive that." She quickly changed the subject the pain the memories were bringing up tempting to overcome her, "So I take it you haven't patched things up with Ned?"

Alexis sat stunned on the other side of the phone line. She found herself wishing she was face to face with her, wanting to do anything to comfort her friend, the one person who had helped her survive the worst weeks of her life, "Well things weren't exactly like that with Ned and I but I shattered his heart just the same." She leaned her head back against the headboard as she thought back to that day four years ago, when she made the biggest mistake of her life, "I ran out on him...on our wedding day. I...I was so foolish...it was four years ago this past December."

Laughing, "I'm sorry your story isn't funny, I was laughing because Bo and I almost both ran out on our wedding, it just wasn't right and then suddenly it was," she wiped her eyes, "Alexis I saw the way Ned looked at you, you share a daughter and she will always connect you. Don't let him go because of regret....." her voice drifted off.

Alexis looked over at the picture of the four of them on the nightstand beside the bed, the sound machine sitting in front of it, she sighed and took a deep breath before continuing, "Kristina isn't Ned's daughter, well not biologically."

She gasped in shock, "Alexis, that little girl is the perfect combination of you and Ned, it was so obvious after seeing them, that he was her father. Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Ned and I....Ned and I haven't been together, well in that way, for a long time, so much happened between us. We tried to make things work after I ran out on our wedding but we only lasted another three months. We tried to remain civil with each other and we finally managed to stay friends. He began dating my sister and well let's just say, I stupidly fell into bed with a man whose heart belonged to another and a month later I found out I was pregnant. Her father, her biological father, reunited with his ex-wife and long story short, Ned claimed Kristina as his own when this person confronted me about being pregnant. Everyone believed the lie, it wasn't impossible...Ned and I have always had a connection.

 

She sighs on the other end of the line and continues. Eventually the lie we told cost my sister her life and things between Ned and I began to deteriorate once again shortly after Kristina's birth. She paused for a moment, "I wish to God, she was his," thinking back to her earlier conversation with Skye, "But now someone else is giving him what he's always wanted...another child."

"Strange isn't it, we would do anything for the men that we love, and sometimes it's that very thing that destroys what we have....Alexis I have a meeting in Philadelphia and was thinking of going to NYC for the weekend, would you care to meet me there, maybe a girl's weekend, we can commiserate with a bottle of wine?"

Suddenly she felt as though she could breathe, the thought of a weekend away...a weekend to just be herself and talk with someone who seemed to understand. "I'd love to? Meet you at the Plaza say Friday night at seven?"

"It's a date. See you then." As she hung up the phone she shook her head, "this is just what I need, time away from Llanview, away from Bo, time to heal and maybe finally move on"...she realized she was still playing with the ring on her finger, "but what if..." she shook her head, no, there would be no more what if's, her heart couldn't take it anymore.

Across town, Matthew crept into the stables, and settled himself on a bale of hay, falling asleep with a tearstained face. Asa had been alerted as soon as he came on the property. He had been trying to get a hold of Nora or Bo, but Nora's phone was busy and Bo was unavailable... he slowly made his way out to the stables.

*~*

Alexis and Nora had said their goodbyes but she still held her cell phone in her hand. She sighed and sunk down onto her bed. She laid her cell phone on her nightstand and decided to try and get some sleep. She fell asleep to thoughts of her weekend away.

Across town Ned was walking along the docks. He couldn't get Skye's words out of his head. He was going to be a father again, so why wasn't he happy? Why did he long to see Alexis, why did he want so badly to hear those words from Alexis' mouth and not Skye's? He blew into his hands, regretting his lack of gloves. It was so quiet here, only the sounds of the water lapping against the docks and the distant bells on the buoys. He needed to talk to her about this. He shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way to her apartment. He needed to see her and to make sure she was okay. He knew she knew about the baby. He could tell from her tone of voice on the phone and from the self satisfied look on Skye's face when she had walked into the room. He nodded to the doorman as he pushed the button on the elevator for Ned. Ned watched as the numbers climbed, leaning against the wall of the elevator trying to think about what he was going to say to her when he saw her. He slowly walked over to the door and knocked.

She turned in bed at the sound of a knock on her door. She groaned and reluctantly climbed out of her warm bed. She turned on each light as she made her way towards the door, a habit from her childhood she had never outgrown, boy how she hated the dark. She looked through the peephole and sighed at the sight of him standing in the hallway. She wanted to ignore him knowing that if it had been an emergency with Kristina or Brook he would've called. She reluctantly opened the door, "Ned...what are you doing here, it's after midnight?"

"I need to talk to you, to make sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine, Ned, really I am. You should be with Skye right now, you should be celebrating."

He removed his jacket and sighed at her obvious attempt to hide her pain, "I don't want to be with Skye right now, Alexis; I want to be with you."

She turned around quickly and pushed her shoulders back, she had to be strong...she had to for his sake, for the innocent life that was about to be born, "You need to go now, Ned. You have a chance to have a real family with Skye. I'm not your responsibility anymore."

"Skye and I..."

"You and Skye are having a child and I'm happy for you, I know how much you've wanted more children of your own and so please go...be happy." He just stood there and she was quickly losing control, "Please Ned...I need you to leave."

Ned just nodded and picked his jacket up off her chair. He walked back towards the door and reached for the knob. He turned back and faced her before turning it, "I'm sorry, Alexis..." and with that he left.

She just nodded and waited for the door to completely close before she gave into her tears and sunk to the living room floor, "I'm sorry to Ned."

*~*

Asa walked into the barn, "Hey there partner want to talk about it?" Matthew just shook his head. Asa continued to stand at the doorway, "Does your mom know you're here?"

"Like she cares." he spat.

Surprised at his tone, and his statement, he walks over to where he’s sitting, "Your mother is going to be very worried when she sees you are not at home."

"Hmph"

"Matthew, you know you are welcome to stay here anytime you want for as long as you want, but I will not have you here without your parent's permission, are we clear?"

"She didn't want me."

"What?"

"I heard her on the phone, saying she didn't want another child after Rachel."

"You should know better than to eavesdrop. I'm not sure what you heard young man, but I can assure you, your mother and your father both wanted you very much. Now why don't we head up to the house and you can call your mother and tell her where you are." He stood up and sulkingly walked with his grandfather to the house.

As she turned out the last light to head upstairs, the phone rang, "Hello"

"Mom" he whispered.

"Matthew," she said in a startled voice, "where are you?"

"Grandpa's, I'm staying here okay?"

"No, young man it's not okay, you are not allowed to just up and leave in the middle of the night, do you know what could happen to you?"

"LIKE YOU CARE!" he yelled as he dropped the phone and headed upstairs to his room.

Asa picked up the phone, "Nora, don't worry, he's safe for tonight, just let him stay here.”

"Asa I appreciate you watching out for Matthew but I'm coming over there to get him right now..."

"Nora, he doesn't want to see you, and right now, I think it's best if he stay here tonight."

"Fine, I'll be over in the morning" resigned she hung up the phone and headed up to bed, wondering how she seemed to be losing all the men in her life.

Bo walked in a little after midnight and headed straight to the bar for some bourbon. He sighed in frustration when he couldn't find the bottle that he knew was there this morning. Asa walked in, bottle in hand, "Looking for this?"

"I've had a long day, and yes a drink would be nice" he took the bottle, "thank you."

He started to pour himself a drink, "Matthew is upstairs."

He stopped mid pour. "What?"

"It appears he ran away, he thinks Nora doesn't care about him, he wouldn't talk to me about it, and he fell asleep a little while ago."

"Does Nora know he is here?"

"Yes, I made him call her. Bo your family is a mess." Bo just looked at him in disbelief, "I know I am not one for family advice, but take it from an old man who has made a lot of mistakes when it comes to family and love, your son and your wife need you, and that bourbon isn't helping anyone." With that he turned and headed to bed. Bo poured the drink out and headed upstairs to check on his son.

*~*

Ned arrived back at the gatehouse 15 minutes later. He said goodnight to Alice and walked back into the dark living room. He was exhausted and chilled to the bone. He headed straight for the wet bar and poured himself something to take the chill out. He walked over to the couch and sat down, kicking his shoes off and resting his feet on the coffee table in front of him. So much had changed in the past 24 hours. Just a short time ago he thought he and Alexis were making progress, figuring out a way to make a life together, and now here he was sitting alone, she was sitting across town in her own apartment, and Skye was pregnant with his child.

He always thought that when he would look into the eyes of the woman who was carrying his child he would immediately see a connection, see something that would tell him that he was bonded to her, but when he looked at Skye he saw nothing; he felt nothing. He gulped down his second scotch and laid back on the couch. He would have to have a long talk with Skye tomorrow. Something did not feel right, something was off and he was going to find out what it was.

His thoughts turned to Alexis and how despite her cool demeanor he knew she was hurting, he could see it in her eyes; her eyes never lied. He poured another drink and stared at the fire crackling in front of him. He looked down at his drink and back at the fire. He sat the glass down with a sigh and headed upstairs to check on their daughters.

TBC