Search & Rescue: 4 Lost Hearts: Chapter 6

A Welcome Home: Llanview, PA…

The early afternoon sun reflected off the snow as they made their way towards Asa’s. They had ridden the whole time in silence, lost in their own thoughts of what their life should have been like. The car stops, and he looks over at her, noticing the tears streaming down her face, instinctively he reaches over to wipe them, "We're here." he whispers.

The driver opens the door for them and before they even have a chance to move, Matthew jumps in the back of the limo throwing his arms around Nora, "Mommy you’re home."

Bo watched as son and mother reunite, then noticing the awkward position Nora's broken leg is in he reaches out and pulls Matthew off Nora, "Hey Champ, take it easy..."

She looks over at Bo, as she places her leg at a more comfortable angle....she mouths "Thanks"

"Why don't we go inside, and you can give your mom her Christmas presents."

"Yeah!" He said jumping out of the car and running into the house, yelling back over his shoulder, "Come on!"

She looks over at Bo, a wistful smile on her face, "He is so your son, Mr. Buchanan."

He shook his head, "No, he is so OUR son, the best of both of us...I don't think we could have done better if we tried." He had gotten out of the car and was reaching in to help her.

She took his hand and stepped out of the car, stumbling, she fell into his open arms. He held her close, as he felt her trembling, "Hey, Nora, its okay, you’re home now, right where you belong."

She looked up at him, as she pushed herself out of his arms, "I don't belong here anymore." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and taking the crutches from him she made her way to the house.

'That's where you’re wrong Red, you will always belong there, but you have to want to be there, I won't push you,” he says to himself.

The whole Buchanan Clan was in the living room awaiting there arrival. She looked around as Asa came up to hug her. "It's good to see you, honey; I can't imagine this world without you in it." He tightened his embrace.

Renee walked up to them, "You actually made him cry, Nora, and that's not an easy feat."

She pulls back and looks at the old man, astonishment in her eyes, "It wasn't your fault, you do know that don't you?"

"It was my plane."

"Pa, it was an accident, things happen, what's important is she is okay, and back home with us."

"Come sit by me, mom," Matthew patted the couch next to him, she made her way over to him, after she sat down, he handed her the present, "Here you go, this is from me and dad."

She took it, "I love presents," she said smiling, casting a sidelong glance at Bo. He just stood watching her with their son, as she opened the gift. She shook the small box, "Hmmm, it seems awful small."

"Come on mom just open it," getting excited he was bouncing up and down on the couch, causing Nora to wince in pain.

Bo caught the look, and went over to sit on the edge of the couch behind Matthew, "Hey, Matthew you need to be careful of your mom's leg."

"Sorry mom."

"Its okay honey just be careful, okay,” she took off the wrapping paper and looked at the small jewelry box in her hand.

She looked up at Bo, confusion covering her face. "Open it Mom."

"Yeah, MOM, open it."

She opened the box, and tears came to her eyes as she looked at the mother's ring, Matthew's stone surrounded by hers and Bo's. "It's beautiful."

"I picked it out, do you like it?"

"Oh sweetie I love it," she leaned down and kissed him. Then placing her hand over Bo's on the back of the couch, "Thank you."

"You need to…"

Before he could finish, "Hello darling. Nora welcome back to the land of the living."

Bo glared at her, "Thank you Gabrielle, thank you for taking care of my b.." catching herself before saying 'her boys', "Matthew for me."

Matthew looked at Gabrielle a frown on his face; then back at his mother, "She didn't…"

Nora put her hand over her son's mouth, "Why don't you go ask Nigel for some hot cocoa, with lots of marshmallows."

Gabrielle wrapped her arm around Bo, who just sat there, "Matthew would you mind asking him to bring me some tea?"

"Whatever." He went to the kitchen.

Bo sensing the sudden tension in the room decided it was time for Nora to get some rest. "You know you have had a long day, and Renee had a room fixed up here for you, so that you can stay as long as you want. So why don't I take you upstairs and help you get settled?"

Looking at him, with Gabrielle's arm firmly in place, "Actually a nap does sound good, but if you just tell me which room, I am sure I will find my way."

He nodded, "My old room." They shared a memorable glance, remembering a few good times they had shared in that room, in that bed together.

She swallowed as she turned to make her way to the stairs, "Here, darlin, let me give you a hand," Renee went to help her.

He got up, causing Gabrielle to lose her balance. He took her arm and led her into the den. "We need to talk."

"I agree," she said as she ran her arms around his waist and began nuzzling his neck, "I missed you." He took her arms and pushed her away, she looked up at him confused, "I don't understand Bo, I mean first it was the accident, then it was Matthew needing time in his house, and then you going to find Nora, but now she's here and things can go back to normal."

He nodded his head, "Your right, things can go back to normal now, for the first time in so long I finally have a chance at giving Matthew everything he deserves."

She just stared at him, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry Gabrielle, I really am."

*~*

Upstairs in Bo’s old room Renee handed Nora the pj's Bo had brought from her house, "Are these okay?"

"They’re fine," She swallowed trying to fight the urge to cry.

"It's just us now darlin you can cry if you want to."

Renee went and sat on the bed next to Nora, putting her arm around her, Nora leaned into the embrace she offered, "Oh Renee, I messed up my life; and God look what I’ve done to Matthew's." She began to sob.

"What are you talking about? Matthew is one happy little boy with two parents who adore him, and a grandfather who spoils him rotten."

"I know, but...it's just, it's not the life Bo and I had planned for our child, going back and forth between mommy and daddy."

"Sometimes things don't work out the way we planned darlin, but things have a funny way of working out in the end, I mean look at Asa and I, we finally managed to get back together and to find our son."

"I know, it's just..." She leaned back against the headboard, remembering the lodge.

Bo stood in front of the fireplace trying to keep his emotions in check. He turned and looked at Gabrielle when she started to speak, "Sorry about what Bo," she looked at his face, "You slept with her didn't you!" She spat.

He shook his head "No," looking at her, "It's nothing like that…" He swallowed, "It's just, when I found out Matthew was mine, all these old familiar feelings started coming back, and I ignored them, but when I heard about the crash, that she was gone forever, I realized something. I can't live my life without her, more importantly I don't want to."

She glared at him, grabbing her purse and turning to leave, she opened the door before looking back over her shoulder, "By the way, that kiss I told you about with Troy, it was more than a kiss, much more, and let's just say, you will never live up to him in her bed." She laughed as she closed the door behind her.

He slammed his fist into the desk as Clint opened the door, "Everything okay in here?"

*****

Renee took her hand in hers and held it; trying to keep her talking, afraid she’d just shut down. "It’s just what, darlin’?"

"When I was at the lodge, I remembered all the times we shared, and I knew, I just knew he would find me, and when he came, it was like the rest of the world didn't exist, we were just two people, two people who belonged together...I fell asleep in his arms, and it was the best night's sleep I have had in years."

"So what happened? Did he do something?"

She shook her head, "No, that's just it, he didn't do anything wrong, he held me all night, and I woke up in his arms, we were talking, I was ready to tell him how I felt, then the phone rang."

****

Bo smiled at the sight of Clint standing there in front of him, just like he had all those years before when he needed comfort after thinking he’d lost Nora forever, "Hey, big brother.”

Clint walked over and handed him a bourbon, "Thought you might need one of these.”

Bo takes it from him, "Thanks,"

"So you want to tell me what the hell had Gabrielle storming out of here like that?"

He laughed, "She thought I slept with Nora," he looked at Clint, "Funny isn't it, I wished like hell I had made love to her, because it was probably the last chance I will ever have at heaven. She's my whole world Clint, and I let too much time pass, to ever get her back."

"What happened at the lodge Bo, did she say something?"

"No, I was getting ready to tell her how I felt that I wanted to try again, and then..."

"Then what…"

"The phone rang, she made me pick it up in case it was Matthew. I wish to hell caller id worked out of the service area, anyway, I answered and she went into the bathroom. She's been avoiding contact with me ever since."

"She’s been through a lot Bo, give her time. If the two of you are meant to be, which I think you are....you will find your way back"

"I don't know Clint, I really don't know."

*****

Renee could see the pain in Nora’s eyes as she remembered back to what had happened between her and Bo at the ski lodge, "It was Gabrielle wasn't it?"

She nodded her head, “Yes, and she saved me from baring my soul to him. In a way I’m glad she called when she did, because if I had told him and....well let's just say it is better this way." Suddenly she no longer felt like talking about it; the memory was just too painful. She looked up at Renee and smiled a weak smile, “You know I really am kind of tired, if you don't mind I think I am going to get some rest." She picked up the pajamas and headed to the bathroom. Renee shook her head as she headed back downstairs, if anyone knew what Nora was going through it was her.

*****

He walked in the other room, noticing the ring box; he picked it up and started playing with it when Matthew walked in, "Hey dad, she never read it, did she?"

He looked at his son, "Nope."

"Well we should tell her she needs to read it; then maybe she won't be so sad."

"You know what; I think we should keep it a secret just between the two of us okay?"

She went back into the room and lay down on the bed, unable to fall asleep and not wanting the memories to plague her thoughts, she opens the nightstand.

He looks at his watch, "Well cowboy I think its time for you to hit the sack."

"Awww dad."

"No aww dad's let's go." He pushed him towards the stairs.

Matthew looks behind him, "You're staying here too, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," he put his arm around his son's shoulders, "I promised you, we would be under the same roof as long as you wanted; I don't plan on breaking that promise."

She picks up The Sound and the Fury and smiles, "You're reading Faulkner. You always did so many things that amazed me Bo Buchanan; the most amazing of them all was loving me." She wiped the tears from her eyes, as she opened the book and started reading.

He waited on the bed, while Matthew brushed his teeth, tucking him in after he hopped into bed. "It's time to say our prayers dad; we have a lot to be thankful for tonight."

He ran his hand over his son's forehead, "We sure do champ." They closed their eyes as Matthew said a prayer. "Thank you God, for helping my daddy bring my mommy home."

Then Bo spoke up, "And thank you God, for giving us this amazing little boy”, and then to himself, 'Thank you for taking care of her, and bringing her home.'

Then together "Amen.”

"You always say that dad."

"Well, that's because I can't thank Him enough for giving me you." He leaned in and gave him a kiss, "So what will it be tonight, Harry Potter?"

Bo began reading, and soon Matthew was fast asleep. Bo turned off the light and headed down the hall. As he reached her room he noticed the light on under the door. He knocked softly as he opened the door. A smile came to his face as he saw her lying there asleep, the Faulkner book across her chest, he picked it up and tucked the blankets around her, "I love you" he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as he turned off the light, and headed out. As he closed the door behind him, he rested his back against the door, letting out a sigh....

As she heard the door closed, she rolled over pulling the blankets up around her chin, "I love you too."

Another Welcome Home: Port Charles, NY…

Ned looks over at her as they make their way towards Port Charles. They had said goodbye to their new friends with promises to keep in touch. He walks over and sits down beside her wanting to talk to her; wanting to reach in and make her tell him what's on her mind, but he knows he can't push. She's shut him out and there's no way she's going to let him in now. "We're almost home, honey." She looks over and nods a small smile forming through her tears.

"Mr. Ashton we're making our final decent into Port Charles. We should be landing in 10 minutes. A car is waiting for you both on the runway.” Ned pushed the button and thanks the pilot before taking his seat and getting ready for their landing.

Twenty minutes later they're on their way down Main Street heading for Harbor View Road. "We're almost there." He looks over at her as she stares out the window.

She turns and looks at him and sighs, "I can't wait." She looks back out the window as they pull into the Quatermaine Estate.

Ned climbs out of the limo and walks over and opens her door, helping her out; aware of her arm. They walked up to the front door. He squeezed her hand before opening the door. He could feel her trembling, “What’s the matter, honey?”

“I…maybe we should’ve just gone back to my place. We could’ve had Nikolas and Emily bring the girls there. I just…they’re not my family…I don’t belong here, Ned.” She pulled her hand out of his and started to turn to leave.

“No…you’re wrong. This is your family, Alexis. They’ve always been your family. He was just about to open the door when Brook threw it open and came running up to them wrapping her arms around Alexis, "You're home. I knew you'd be home. I knew it."

Alexis looked up at Ned who noticed the pain in her eyes as Brook squeezed her arms. "Hey princess, careful of her arm, okay?”

Brook broke their embrace, "I'm sorry, Alexis", taking her hand in hers, "Let's go sit down in the living room. Krissy fell asleep on Grandma Lila’s lap."

Alexis walked into the Q living room where the whole family awaited her arrival. Edward walked up to her and carefully hugged her, the tears in his eyes betraying his usual cold demeanor, he leaned in and whispered in her ear, "We're glad you're alright my dear, this family wouldn't be the same without you."

She broke their embrace and looked into the old man's eyes, "Thank you Edward."

After hugs from the rest of the family she walked over to where Kristina laid on Lila's lap, her head resting against her shoulder. Alexis knelt down beside her wheelchair and smiled as she ran her hand over the little girl’s cheek. Kristina’s eyes slowly flutter open at the feel of her mother's touch. She looks at her mother and smiled, "Mama?'

"Yeah baby, its mama."

Kristina picks her head up off of Lila's shoulder and sits up; never taking her eyes off of Alexis. She reaches out her arms for Alexis to pick her up. Alexis picks her up off of Lila's lap and pulls her close. She looks over at Ned and smiles through her tears, "Thank you," she mouths as she holds their little girl tight.

He nods his head and walks over to her. He is just about to take her in his arms when Skye walks through the doors, "Hello everyone sorry I'm late."

Ned felt Alexis tense against him at the sound of Skye's voice. Skye walked up to Ned and kissed his cheek as she ran her hand over Kristina’s back. "Alexis it's so great that you're home."

"Thank you, Skye," she said as she walked towards where Brook was standing, staring at Skye.

Ned noticed the tension between the two women and decided it was time to go home, "Well I've had a rough few days and Alexis has had a really rough few weeks and the doctor's said she needs to get some rest." He walks over and takes Kristina from Alexis and then takes Brook's hand, "We'll all be at the Gatehouse if you need us."

They all turned to leave; leaving Skye to watch them go. She turned on her heels and walked over to the couch and sat down. Emily noticed the exchange between the three adults and she knew Skye's days were numbered.

Ned opened the door and held it for Alexis as she made her way into the room. Brook looked between the two of them and smiled, "I'm going to go upstairs and finish my homework while you rest. Then can we open presents?"

Alexis smiled at the little girl who had her father's dimples and hazel eyes, "Of course we'll open presents as soon as you're done your homework and Kristina wakes up from her nap."

Brook runs upstairs as Ned and Alexis follow behind; taking Kristina to her room. They tucked her in her bed and walked back downstairs. The stress of the past few weeks began to take their toll. Alexis started to walk out of the room when a wave of dizziness overcame her and she began to fall to the floor. Ned reached her in time and picked her up and carried her into his room. He laid her on his bed and sat down next to her. "Hey, do you need me to call Monica?"

"No, I'll be fine" she said as she fought back the tears. So many emotions were running through her as she looked around his room; remembering all the nights she had spent in his arms in this very bed. She started to sit up; raising her hand to her head as another wave of dizziness hit her, "Whoa where are you going?"

"I...I shouldn't be here. This isn't where..."

He raised his fingers to her lips; silencing her, "Alexis, it is where you belong, but until you are ready to realize that I won't push the issue. I almost lost you for a second time....I'm not going anywhere." He reached out and touched her cheek, "Just rest okay?"

She laid back down on the bed and quickly fell asleep. He walked over to the window in his room and looked out over the estate; covered in freshly fallen snow. He wanted to tell her how he felt but first he had to make things right and the first thing he had to do was to set things straight with Skye.

Ned walked downstairs after checking on Brook and Kristina and picked up the phone, "Skye, yeah I'm on my way up to the house. We need to talk."

Ned left a note for Alexis and told Brook that he would be up at the main house. He arrived a few minutes later and walked into the living room where Skye was waiting. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I've missed you."

He takes her arms and removes them from around his neck. "What's the matter with you, Ned? We haven't seen each other for days. Alexis is home now...now we can get back to our lives."

"That's exactly what I want to do, but that life's not with you. I'm sorry, Skye but this thing between us is over."

She just looked at him for a moment; before the anger came out. "Fine, but don't come running back to me when that bitch destroys your life again."

Ned walked over to the wet bar and poured himself a scotch, not hearing Lila make her way back into the room, "Ned darling, something bothering you?"

He smiles and walks over towards Lila, "Grandmother, I didn't hear you come in."

"What's the matter darling. I thought you'd be happier than this. Alexis is home where she belongs. Your daughter had her mother back, and Brook has missed her so much."

"Grandmother, I am happy. It's just that whenever I think I've got it all figured out I realize I don't."

He stands up and walks over to the terrace doors; his back towards Lila. Lila makes her way over to him, "You love Alexis, don't you?"

He turned around; tears in his eyes, "Yes, I love her and I know she loves me. We were so close to talking it all out back at the lodge but..."

"But what darling, what stopped you?"

"Alexis did. She pulled away. I'm afraid it's too late, Grandmother. I'm afraid that too much has come between us for us to ever get back what we had."

"It's never too late when it's meant to be, darling. That's just the way love works. Take your time. Give her the space she asks for. Make sure it's truly what you want and it will happen. The two of you have a family to worry about, two precious little girls who need you both."

Back at the gatehouse Alexis made her way downstairs after finding Brook sound asleep on her bed; her school books spread out around her. She walked over to the desk and found the note that Ned had left. She walked over to the mantle and looked at all the pictures he had placed up there over the years. She was so lost in her thoughts she never heard the door close. She was brought out of her thoughts by a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and looked into the eyes of her ex husband and the tears began to fall once again. He pulled her close and held her as she cried against his chest, "Shhh....its okay Alexis."

He held her close and led her over to the couch. She laid her head on his shoulder and continued to cry until she no longer had tears to cry. He pulled away for a moment and lifted her chin; forcing her to look at him, "Alexis, tell me what's going on in that head of yours. I know you better than anyone, well almost anyone. It's Ned isn't it?"

He walked over and sat down on the couch. He looked over at his Grandmother and sighed, "I want to try and make a life with Alexis, Grandmother, but I'm not sure if it's what she wants. I don't want the girls to be shuffled back and forth between us for the rest of their lives. I want to give them the life and the home that I never had, the type of home that Alexis never had. I'm just..."

He picked her hand up off of her lap and held it; letting her know that she was safe, that she could tell him how she really felt just like she had that day in the hospital, "You've always been able to read me Jax."

"Have you told him?"

"Told him what?"

"Don't play dumb Alexis, you know what I mean. Have you told him how you feel?"

She leans her head back on the couch and thinks back to their time in the lodge, "I almost did."

"Well what stopped you? What happened between the two of you after he found you?"

"He held me. He held me all night long. We fell asleep and I slept like I haven’t' slept in years. We woke up that morning and we started to talk. I was just about to tell him how I felt and..."

"And what?"

“His phone rang. He wasn’t going to answer it but we couldn’t tell who it was and we thought it might be about the girls.”

“Who was it?”

"Skye."

"Ahhh...I see.”

“Don’t ahhh…me Jax, she’s in his life. She’s the one he’s with.” She stood up and walked towards the mantle. "Besides it's too late. It's too late for the both of us. Too much time has passed for us to ever get back what we had."

Lila reaches out and takes his hand, “You're just what? What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm afraid we'll hurt each other again."

"Life does not work that way, my dear, but if you're love is an everlasting love...which I think it is, you can over come anything."

Alexis turns back and looks at Jax, a picture of the girls in her hand, "And you know what that's fine. If he wants to be with her I'm not going to stop him. I'm not going to interfere. If she makes him happy than I'm happy for him, I just want him to be happy, Jax"

"When you two were together he was happy; you were happy. You were the happiest I've ever seen."

"The past Jax, it's all in the past. We have to figure out our future, we need to do that for the girls, they're who matter now."

She lays her hand on his hand, "Ned, my dear. Give her time; she's been to hell and back. If things are meant to be between the two of you it'll happen."

He stood up and walked over to her, "Alexis just give it time; don't close your heart to the possibility of a future with Ned." Jax leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Get some rest, I'll come by and see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Jax....for everything."

"Hey, what are ex husbands for?"

Ned walked around the estate for a little while trying to clear his head. He made his way towards the gatehouse about thirty minutes after Jax left. He walked into the living room and found her asleep on the couch. He walked over and sat down in one of the chairs and watched her sleep. Brook came downstairs a few minutes later and crawled up into his lap, "Daddy?"

"Yes, princess?"

"Do you think mommy would care if I wanted to ask Alexis if I could call her mom? I miss having a mom."

He looked down at his little girl and smiled, "No princess, I think your mom would be glad that you have someone in your life who loves you like she did."

"Do you think Alexis will let me call her mom?"

"I'm sure she will."

"Good", she pauses for a moment. "Thank you for bringing her back to me and Krissy."

Alexis began to stir when the scent of popcorn filled the room. She sat up and smiled when she saw Brook and Kristina sitting on the floor watching TV, eating popcorn. Alexis stood up and walked over to them, sitting down on the floor beside them. Kristina climbed into her mother's lap as Brook leaned her head against her shoulder, "Alexis?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Can I call you mom?"

Alexis looked down at the little girl and smiled through her tears, "I would be honored if you called me mom."

"Alexis? I mean mom?...I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie."

Brook laid her head in Alexis' lap, both of them oblivious to Ned standing in the door way. "Hey you three are we ready to open some presents now?"

"Yay! pwesents," Krissy yells as she jumps off of Alexis' lap.

An hour later they were surrounded by wrapping paper, both girls asleep on the floor. They sat in silence for a few minutes as they watched the fire die down in the fireplace. Ned stood up and made his way over to the desk. He opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a small box....

He walked back over to her and sat down beside her on the couch. He handed her the box, "Here, this one's from me."

"Ned..."

"Shh...just open it. okay."

She opened the box; the tears welling up in her eyes when she saw the bracelet lying against the cotton, "It's...its beautiful Ned."

"Here let me help you put it on." Her heart raced when his fingers brushed against her wrist as he closed the clasp, "It has Kristina’s birthstone on it."

She looks up at him, "And Brook's."

Ned stood up and walked over to the fireplace. Alexis looked down at the bracelet on her wrist and over at the two little girls lying on the floor. She stands up and starts to pick up the wrapping paper. Ned walks over and rests a hand on her shoulder, "We'll worry about that in the morning. You need to go get some rest. I'll take care of putting the girls to bed. You go a head and go on up to bed. I have a conference call to make."

"Ned...I don't want you to have to sleep down here. I'll go back to my place..."

"No, you're staying here with us until you're completely healed. No arguments okay?"

She really was too tired to argue so she just nodded her head and went upstairs. She walked into his room and changed into a pair of her pajamas that had been left in one of his drawers since they were together. She crawled into his bed and pulled the pillow tight against her chest. She tried to sleep but she just tossed and turned. She sat up in bed and reached into the nightstand and pulled out the notebook she found in the back of the drawer. She flipped through the pages, each of the songs lyrics bringing back so many memories of their times together. An hour later she finally gave into sleep.

He finished up his call and turned out the last of the lights before making his way upstairs. He checked in on Brook and Kristina before making his way down the hallway. He quietly opened the door. He walked over and carefully brushed the hair out of her face, tucking it carefully behind her ear. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, "I love you Alexis, I just hope someday I'll find a way to tell you."

He closed the door behind him and made his way downstairs. Upstairs in his bed she rolled onto her side and pulled his pillow tight against her chest; inhaling his scent, "I love you too." she whispered before closing her eyes.

TBC