From Forbidden Fruit to Love Renewed ~Chapter 9

Chapter Nine:

The holidays have come and gone; a date has been set; plans are being finalized….Life is moving on.

A month before the wedding….

“Matthew, sweetie where are you,” looking throughout the house and the back yard, “Matthew?” peaking her head in his bedroom door “What’s the matter, champ?”, noticing his long face.

“Nuthin’.”

She walks over and sits beside him, taking his chin in her hand, “This doesn’t look like nuthin. Come on little man, talk to me.”

“Dad’s getting married,” his tears threatening to fall.

“Oh, sweetie you knew your Dad and Gabrielle were going to be getting married.”

“I know, but now they picked the day.”

She swallows the lump in her throat, looking away for a moment trying to hide the pain that she felt even though she knew it was the way things needed to be.

“Come here, champ”, pulling him close. “Gabrielle makes your dad happy, so we need to be happy for him, okay?”

“Mom, are you going to get married to?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“You’re having a baby. Aren’t the mommies supposed to marry the daddies?”

“Well, things don’t always work out that way, honey.”

“Oh,” pausing for a moment before he continued; his six year old mind full of so many questions. “Mom, where is the baby’s daddy?”

“Matthew…”

“Mom, Matthew, where are you guys”, Rachel yells from the other room, “Oh, there you are. Matthew you’re going to be late for your sleepover.”

“Gotta go, mom”, grabbing his backpack, his questions quickly forgotten, “Oh, Mom….?”

“Yeah, sweetie”

“Don’t worry about the baby’s daddy, my dad will love her, okay?”

“I love you, Matty,” she says as she fights the emotions coursing through her, “Run along, Grandma and Grandpa are waiting for you.”

“Love you, too, mom,” kissing her cheek, “Love you, little sister,” kissing Nora’s stomach before he runs out the door.

Nora watches as Rachel’s car drives out of sight before she lets the tears finally fall. She walks into her room and closes the door, taking her journal of the desk. She lies down on the bed and lets her words portray her feelings, “January 13, 2004….Matthew told me today that you finally set a wedding date……

**flashback**

“You’re sure about this; I mean you haven’t changed your mind or anything, right?”

“No, not a bit, no, have you?”

“I asked you first.”

“Well no honey, we, you know agreed. I think it’s time that we set a wedding date. I think we should make it official. I think we should make a public announcement.”

**end of flashback*

“I guess things will finally be the way they should be. You’ll be happy and I’ll be able to come home and I’ll finally be able to tell you the truth….The truth…something that’s getting harder and harder to keep hidden. Matthew asked about the baby’s father today. I could see the confusion in his eyes. How am I supposed to tell him that his father is also”, running her hand over her swollen stomach, “this baby’s father, when there’s no chance of us being together as a family? He told me I shouldn’t worry about the baby; that you would love her and take care of her. I almost told him the truth, Bo….well the truth will be out in another month. I just hope you both will be able to forgive me.”

*~*~*

Two weeks before the wedding Bo, Gabrielle, and Matthew are walking through Angel Square; a light snow falling, blanketing the already white ground with fresh snow. Matthew is unusually quiet and subdued that night; Bo can tell there’s something bothering him.

Bo leads Matthew over to one of the park benches, pulling him onto his lap, Gabrielle sits beside him, but his focus is on Matthew, “Is there something bothering you, champ?” Bo notices Matthew glance over at Gabrielle and he realizes his son would rather she wasn’t’ there, “Um…Gabrielle, would you mind going over to the diner and getting us some hot chocolate?

Would you like some hot chocolate, Matt?” Matthew just nods his head, hoping Gabrielle would leave.

She looks between Matthew and Bo and sighs, “Fine, I’ll leave you two alone.”

“Thank you, Gabrielle.” turning his attention back to Matthew, “Alright, what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I’m worried about mom that’s all.”

“What’s going on with your mom?” his concern evident on his face.

“She cries a lot, Dad. I know she doesn’t think I know but I do. I can hear her at night when she thinks I’m sleeping. I think she’s crying about the baby.”

“Is there something wrong with the baby?” the panic in his voice startling Matthew

“No, mom says the baby’s growing and is okay, but she doesn’t have a daddy around like I do, and I think that’s why mom’s sad all the time.”

“Oh, she, huh? So the baby’s a girl?”, the sadness in his voice matching the sadness he feels knowing that this child is his, but not being able to be there.

“Yeah, mom told me the other day that I was having a baby sister. I tried to make mom feel better by telling her that you’ll love my sister and help be her daddy, but I think that just makes mom sadder,” looking into his father’s eyes, “Why can’t you marry mom instead of Gabrielle? She needs you more, dad.”

“Matthew, I’ll always be there for you, your mother, and your baby sister, even after I’m married to Gabrielle….”

“Are you two boys talking about me?, handing Matthew his hot chocolate.

He looks up at Gabrielle and then over at Bo, “Dad, can we go home now? I’m tired.”

“Sure, buddy. Let’s go home.”

*~*~*

Time continues to fly….two days before the wedding…

Nora is walking down the streets of Chicago; the cold winter air burning her chest as she makes her way to the local diner to meet Rachel for lunch. She turns down the side street and notices a man and woman standing beside a brand new Harley-Davidson. A smile spreads across her face as she’s taken back in time…

**flashback**

“You’re not cold?”

“Are you kidding me, me cold?”

“Honey, you get frostbite in an air-conditioned movie theater, this was a motorcycle ride in 28 degree weather.”

“Well doll face, I’m toasty. Oh God, does that bike do this to you?”

“What make me want to wear silk pants and talk twice as fast as normal?”

“No no no no, does it, does it energize you, does it, does it, does it, make your body feel like a conduit for pure power the moment you straddle that baby and start her up. Oh, God does the so called real world just sort of vanish in a blur of light and shadow the moment you pull away from the curb? Do your lungs fill with the night air making you and the elements one. Oh my God, Bo why didn’t you tell me what a thrill it was to ride that thing?.....

“Mom…mom…earth to mom?”

“Rachel?...Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie, I was just thinking.”

“About him?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Mom, he’s all you ever think about.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, really? Tell me something why do you disappear every morning? Who do you write to in that journal of yours? My whole life I’ve never known you to keep a journal. You always said anything you have to say you should just say, things on paper only come back to haunt you. He’s all I know of that haunts you. You need to tell him.”

“Rachel, is there a reason why you only remember the things that you can use against me?”

Laughing, quickly turning serious, “I remember what it was like to grow up without my parents together, but I also remember all the fighting. You and daddy couldn’t make it work and I understand that, but you and Bo were made for each other. I see it, daddy sees it, everyone sees it but you, and now you’re going to bring this little girl into the world, his little girl, and you won’t even give him a chance to make the decision. You’ve decided what’s best….Some day mom you’re going to have to learn that you need to let people in…you need to let HIM in.” Rachel walks away, as Nora stares after her.

*~*~*

Bo walks around the living room late that night lost in thought…He can’t get his son’s words out of his head, “Why can’t you marry mom instead of Gabrielle? She needs you more…she needs you more…she needs you more….

Bo picks up his keys and grabs his coat. He sits down at the desk and writes her a quick note, “Gabrielle, I’m going out for a while, and then I’ll be picking up Matthew; I’ll see you when I get back.”

He drove as fast as the law would allow him making the four hour trip in three; arriving just after midnight. He pulled into the gravel parking lot and parked the car in front of Rm. 13. He walked up to the door; his mind filled with the memories of their times together. He closes the door behind him; locking out the rest of the world. He begins to walk over to the bed when the light reflecting off of something under the bed, caught his attention. He bends down and picks it up, instantly recognizing the heart pendant he gave to his “crush.”

He squeezes the pendant in his hand as he sits down on the bed, “Oh Red, what have we done?”

He walks over to the small desk in the corner and pulls out the generic motel stationary. He placed the pendant in the envelope before sealing it and putting it in his pocket. He drove back to town and boarded Asa’s jet; arriving on Rachel’s doorstep just as the sun was peaking over the horizon.

*~*~*

She looks out over the water; the sun barely over the horizon, turning the water various shades of orange and red. She sits down on the bench; pulling her coat tight, trying to block the chill from the below freezing temperatures. She pulls out her journal and begins to write…“February 12, 2004….Well tomorrow’s the day Bo, your wedding day. I know you’ll be happy with Gabrielle, and that’s all I want for you”, she lays her hand on her stomach as the baby kicks, alerting her to its presence. “You’re little girl is doing somersaults right now, always making her presence known just like her brother did.

I thought of a name for her just now, Bo. I’m sitting here by the water just before dawn and it just hit me, “Aurora”, it means goddess of the dawn. I chose it because this is the time of day, when I come and sit by the water, that I can feel you the most.”

*~*~*

She opens the door a shocked expression on her face as she stares into his crystal blue eyes, “Bo, what are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming to pick Matthew up at Grandma and Grandpa’s until tonight?”

“I’m not here for Matthew right now; I need to see your mother first.” He steps around her entering the apartment. “Nora”, he calls for her as he walks towards the kitchen.

“She’s not here, Bo” she says as she walks up behind him.

“He turns to look at her, “Where is she? It’s just after dawn.”

She shrugs, “I’m not sure, she always disappears every morning at this time. She doesn’t tell me where she goes…I don’t ask. It’s not my place…”

“Will she be home soon?”

“She should be; do you want to wait for her?”

He puts his hand inside his jacket, “No,” he pulls the letter out, “No, just give her this, okay?”

She takes it from him, “Sure.”

“It’s important, Rachel.”

“I’ll make sure she gets it.” She leans in to hug him as he reaches the door.

“Thanks, Rachel, I love you honey.” He kisses her cheek as he turns to leave.

Rachel throws the letter on the counter next to the paper, she never sees it slip between the countertops.

Nora walks in the apartment twenty minutes later while Rachel was in the shower. Feeling drained she goes to lie down. When she gets up a little after one she goes to take the paper off the counter and picks up the note lying there, “Hey mom, sorry I missed you. I’m spending the day with Craig, won’t be home until late. Don’t wait up for me *wink wink* Love, Rachel.”

She never notices the note that lies on the floor at her feet, looking at the clock as she returns to her bedroom to lie down, running her hand over her protruding stomach, “Soon angel, soon I’ll be able to tell your daddy all about you.” She stays in her room for the rest of the day finally crying herself to sleep…

*~*~* 

She comes up behind him standing on the terrace, wrapping her arms around him, “Only a few more hours.”

He’s taken from his thoughts, “Huh?”

‘She nuzzles his neck, “I’ll be Mrs. Bo Buchanan….”

**flashback**

“To the future, Mrs. Bo Buchanan.

“I don’t think I can change my name.”

“You can’t?”

“No, I mean, I’ve been practicing law for so many years, the number of which shall remain unmentioned, but under this name. I don’t think I can change it.”

“Yeah, but Gannon’s not even really your name, I mean, it’s Hanks last name, your ex-husband, heavy on the ex.”

“Mmhm.”

“So how come you didn’t use your maiden name when you married Hank? What is your maiden name?.....Nora?”

“Hmm? Hanen.”

“Hanen? So you were…”

“Nora Hanen Gannon.”

‘Ah. Why not just go for broke then? You could be Hora…(both laugh-together) Nora Hanen Gannon Buchanan, yeah, I like that! Nora Hanen Gannon Buchanan.”

**end of flashback**

Bo walks out of her embrace and back into the apartment, “I’m going to get Matthew and head over to Asa’s right now, I’ll see you…”

“At the other end of the aisle.”

“Right, at the other end of the aisle”, he says quietly.

*~*~*

She walks into the kitchen, seeing her mom sitting at the table staring out the window, “Mom?”

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“Did you see Bo yesterday morning?”

“No, why?...Wait what do you mean yesterday morning, he wasn’t supposed to pick Matthew up at your grandparent’s until last night?”

“I know, but he stopped by here early yesterday morning, didn’t you get the letter?”

“Letter? What letter?”

“The letter on the counter, it was right here.” Shuffling through the papers, ‘Where did it go?” She scratches her head and looks down seeing that it had slipped between the counters. She reaches to pick it up handing it to her mother.

Her trembling hands reach for the envelope, terrified of the goodbye she knows is waiting for her there. She pulls the paper out and notices the chain caught inside it, pulling it out clutching it in her hand as she places it next to her chest. She unfolds the letter and sees the name of the motel on the top of the stationary, she begin to read the letter to herself,

“I’m sitting here inside this dingy old motel room, my wedding just a day away, thoughts of you, us, and what could’ve been, no what should’ve been, filling my mind. You’ve spent the last five months 1,000 miles away from our son, away from home because of some misguided attempt to preserve my happiness, but what you don’t realize is that I haven’t been happy; not truly happy without you in my life. I’ve respected your wishes; I haven’t pushed or demanded answers even though I know in my heart of hearts that the baby, the little girl you’re carrying is mine. I’m as sure of that as I am of my love for you. I’ve wanted to tell you how I feel so many times since Harrisburg but whenever we would see each other the words just wouldn’t come. I was so afraid you would push me away that it was easier for me to just bury my feelings and pretend they didn’t exist. Well I’m not afraid anymore. I love you, I love you today as much as I did the first time I ever said those words to you, and I know deep down you feel the same way. I felt it that night in Harrisburg, I felt it in your kiss that day in the rain, and I see it every time our eyes meet. So I’ll be waiting for you at the pier until noon today. If you don’t show up I’ll know our time has passed and I’ll let you go.

Love,
Bo.

“P.S. I found this laying in the motel, the one where I realized you had always owned my heart and always would, and I wanted you to have it back, no matter what you decide always know that my heart has and always will belong to you.”

She couldn’t stop the tears from falling as she read the words on the page in front of her. She folds the letter, bringing her hand to her mouth, “Oh, Bo, what have I done?”

“Mom, mom, are you okay?” She stands up, shaking uncontrollably, unable to speak, she just shakes her head no, “Mom.”

Rachel takes her mother in her arms, “Oh Ricki, I’ve lost him, I really lost him and it’s all my fault,” she points to the letter, “he wanted me, he wanted us.”

She pulled back and looked at the clock on the wall, “Mom, the wedding isn’t until 1…you still have time.”

Wiping the tears from her eyes and with a renewed hope, “Yeah, yeah I can, I can make the 10:10 flight to Llanview, that would put me there at 12:45, 10 minutes to the church,” she is mentally clicking the times off in her head, “I can do it, barely, but I can make it,” She kisses her daughter on the cheek and grabs her purse running out the door.

A first class seat…the letter held tightly in her hand…his heart over hers, “Please God”, she looks up, rolling the heart pendant in between her fingers, “if we are meant to be, let me make it on time,” she whispers to herself as she looks out at the clouds passing by…

TBC....