From Forbidden Fruit to Love Renewed ~Chapter 7
Chapter Seven:
He looks up at the woman he has loved most of his adult life as his mother, searching for answers. She reaches out to him but knows she’s unable to give him what he needs. “Renee, please…”, his eyes are begging her, she knows she needs to tell him…
‘Dad, you’re here!” his son jumps into his arms, unaware his father is upset.
“”Hey champ, how was school?”’
“I got picked for the spelling bee.”
“That’s great, buddy. You’re mom’s going to be so proud.”
“Can we call her when we get home?”
“You bet we can”, fighting back his emotions as he looks over at Renee, “we’ll call her before you go to bed so you can say goodnight, how does that sound?”
“Great! Dad…I’m going to go find Grandpa. I want to tell him about the spelling bee, I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, champ. Go find Grandpa. I need to talk to Grandma Renee.” He watches Matthew run out of the room, so many emotions running through him, anger, sadness, all ready to consume him, “Renee, please tell me the truth….about the baby. You know the truth…don’t you?”
She looks into the sad eyes of her “son”, her urge to comfort him and her loyalty to her friend waging a battle within her, “Even if I knew the truth, darlin’, it wouldn’t be my truth to tell….It would be, Nora’s.”
“But….,” his thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone.
‘Hello?”
“Bo, darling are you coming home soon, our dinner reservations are at 7.”
He runs his hands through his hair in frustration, forgetting about their dinner at the country club the minute he read the letter from Nora, “Gabrielle, I’m sorry we’re going to have to postpone dinner, unless they can change that reservation from two to three.”
“I don’t understand, Bo, who will be joining us?”
“Matthew,…he’ll be staying with us for a while.”
Agitated, “Where’s Nora?”
“She’s in Chicago. Listen, I’ll explain it all to you tonight. I’ve got to get Matthew home and cleaned up before we leave.”
“Okay, I’ll call the country club and change our reservations. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
“Right, I’ll see you soon,” hanging up the phone and turning back to Renee, “I’m not buying this, Renee, not for one minute. I know Nora’s hiding something, just like when she tried to hide the fact that she was having surgery to remove the tumors. I’m going to get to the bottom of this, Renee, with or without your help.”
She watches him walk out of the room, whispering to herself, “I hope you do, darling, for both your sakes.”
*~*
Rachel breaks free from their embrace and takes Nora’s hand, leading her over to the couch, “Mom…what’s wrong?” Nora raises her hand to her head trying to steady herself as the room begins to spin. Rachel notices the ring she’s now wearing on her left hand, “Mom, isn’t that your wedding ring? Are you and Bo back together?” starting to get excited but quickly realizing her mother would be happy, “That’s not it…is it?”
“Oh, Ricki,” she looks at the ring. “I love him so much,” she trails off.
“But…”
“He’s moved on, Rachel. I mean he’s really moved on, he’s getting married.”
“Have you told him how you feel?”
“There’s no point, I told you he’s moved on; he’s getting married…”
“Okay, so he’s getting married…but he’s not married yet, and that doesn’t explain the ring you’re wearing, the ring HE placed on your finger, the one he pledged HIS love to you with…”
“That was a long time ago, Rachel, I ruined that.”
“So why did you put it back on and why are you here in my home, crying with,” she points to her bags by the door, “all your luggage?”
“I…I had to get away,” she begins to say but once again is consumed by nausea and heads to the bathroom.
Rachel follows her and as she watches her splash cold water on her face she realizes the truth, “Oh my God, mom you’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
Nora turns and looks at her daughter; trying to read her eyes, “Yes,” she answers quietly.
“Who?”, Rachel watches as her mother unconsciously plays with the ring on her finger, “Did you tell him?”
“Tell who?”
“Mom, you know who.”
She continues to twist the ring around her finger, unable to look her daughter in the eyes, “He knows.”
“And…what did he say?”
“I told him it wasn’t his.”
“WHAT?”
“I couldn’t tell him Rachel. He’s found happiness again. I ruined his chance at happiness once before, I won’t do it again.”
“So when did this…happen?”
“It was just one night…one night in Harrisburg, a thunderstorm…a chance to get lost. We both walked away promising no regrets.”
“But mom,” reaching out and taking Nora’s hand in hers running her finger over the wedding band, "you and I both know it could never be just one night for you and Bo, and now this is your chance to have everything you’ve ever wanted, a family with Bo, the only man you’ve ever really loved.”
“You’re right Rachel, he is the only man I’ve ever really loved, but the problem is he’s not in love with me anymore. He’s with Gabrielle, they’re getting married.”
“Mom, this is just stupid.”
Nora puts her hand up to silence her daughter, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’ve made my decision.”
“What about Matthew? What are you going to tell him? Don’t you think he’s going to eventually notice?”
Taking her daughter’s chin in her hand and lifting it so she can see her eyes, “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it I guess, but for now promise me, promise me that you’ll keep this between us.”
“I promise,” shaking her head, “but I don’t agree. You’re only going to hurt yourself and your child in the end. You’ll be robbing yourself of love and your child of its father…a man who would love him or her with all his heart.”
“This child will know her father, but not until I know there’s no chance he’ll put his own happiness aside.”
“Her, huh?” she laughs as she looks at her mother.
“Well there are just some things a mother knows. I knew you were going to be a girl, just like I knew deep down that Matthew was really Bo’s.”
She looks at her mother, sadness filling her eyes, “He’s never had a little girl…he always said I was the daughter he never had…you always wanted to give him a child.”
“Yes, and I did give him a child and look what a mess I made of that, and I’m pregnant with his child again, and again I’m alone…”
“But being alone this time is your choice…” The phone rings, interrupting them, “Hello?”
“Hey, Rach…Is mom there?”
“Yeah, buddy, she’s right here, hold on.”
Nora wipes the tears from her face as she takes the phone from Rachel, “Hey there sweetie, you having fun at your dad’s?”
“Yeah, we just got home from a fancy dinner,” lowering his voice so Gabrielle doesn’t hear him, “she made me wear a suit, mom. I hate suits…”
“Well sometimes you have to wear things you hate to make someone else happy, okay?”
“Okay, oh mom, I almost forgot I got picked for the spelling bee today.”
“That’s wonderful, sweetie. I’m so proud of you.”
“Dad said you would be.”
“Matthew, time for bed”
“Okay, Gabrielle. Mom, Gabrielle says it’s time to go to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? I love you mom.”
Tears well up in Nora’s eyes as visions of Gabrielle and Bo putting Matthew to bed, something she’s longed to do with Bo run through her head, “I love you too, champ. Be good and I‘ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Bye, mom.”
“Bye, sweetie.”
Nora hands Rachel the phone and dissolves into tears. Rachel takes her mom into her arms and tries to console her, “Oh, mom. I wish you’d see what you’re doing to yourself.”
*~*~*
Matthew hands Bo the phone and crawls onto his lap; his glass of juice in his hand, “You were right, Dad. Mom was proud of me for getting picked for the spelling bee.”
“I told you she would be, now give your old man a kiss and get in bed, you have school tomorrow.”
Matthew, forgetting the glass in his hand, reaches out to give Bo a hug; spilling his juice all over Bo’s new shirt, “Matthew Buchanan, look what you did! You’ve ruined your father’s new shirt.”
Bo quickly flashes back to a day 10 years ago when a fiery red-head spilled a glass of club soda all over his suit. He breaks out in laughter, further infuriating Gabrielle, “I don’t think grape juice on a $200.00 shirt is something to laugh about, Bo.”
“Oh, lighten up Gabrielle, he’s only a kid,” he manages to say through his laughter, as she walks away in a huff.
“I’m sorry, dad”, he whimpered through his tears, “Did I really ruin your shirt?”
“No, don’t you worry about my shirt. It’ll be just fine,” picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder, “Now let’s get you in bed.”
*~*~
A month later…
“Dad! Dad!, where are you?”
“I’m in the kitchen, Matthew.”
Matthew runs into the kitchen waving a piece of paper in the air, “I won, Dad. I won the spelling bee”, jumping into his father’s arms.
“Congratulations champ; I knew you could do it.”
“Can I call mom?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
Bo follows Matthew out into the living room. Bo looks down at the certificate in his hand and is immediately taken back in time…
**flashback**
“Honey, it looks good on the mantle.”
“What, oh…you don’t think it looks too tacky?”
“No, you know what’s tacky? I didn’t even say congratulations”, pulling her into a tight embrace; kissing her, “Congratulations, Red, I’m so proud of you. Nora Gannon, Woman of the Year 1995, Llanview Women in Law. You should be so proud because I am,” breaking their hug, “You know what I’m going to do, I’m going to stop and get a spotlight for”, pointing above the fireplace, “right up there, on the way home.”
She laughs a huge smile on her face, “No you won’t. No you won’t.”
“Yes, I’m going to build a little shrine to you because you are the greatest. We’re going to get all your stuff, even that little citation for that 3rd grade spelling bee your mother sent here. I want it all up here….
**end of flashback**
“Mom’s not home, again,” realizing Bo’s not listening, shoving his arm, “Dad…Dad…did you hear me?”
The sound of Matthew’s voice brings him back to the present, “I’m sorry, son. What did you say?”
“Mom wasn’t home.”
“Did Rachel say where she was?”
“No, Rachel just said she was out.”
Meanwhile on the shores of Lake Michigan that same day Nora sits on the beach looking out over the water; lost in thought. She lays her hand on her slightly round stomach as she watches a mother and father playing on the beach with their baby and son, who just happens to be about Matthew’s age…
Nora takes out the journal she started keeping and looks back out at the water as she picks up her pen, “November 1, 2003….I sit here staring out at the water thinking about how different my life could be if I had been brave enough to trust in your love five years ago, wow…five years. Doesn’t seem like five years have passed, in so many ways it seems like yesterday. I saw a mother and father just now, playing on the beach with their children. I immediately thought of Matthew and how that family could’ve been us….I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough to believe that our love could survive anything…."
*~*
Three weeks later…a weekend visit….a child’s questions…
“Mom?” crawling up into Nora’s lap, “Are you having a baby?”
“What makes you ask that?”
“I heard you and Rachel talking about a baby the other night. She said that you needed to take care of yourself because of the baby, so are you, mom. Are you having a baby?”
“Yes, sweetie, I’m having a baby.”
“Cool”, kissing her on the cheek before climbing down off her lap, “thanks mom.”
“For what, champ?”
“Duh, for making me a big brother, now I have someone to boss around”, picking up his ball and glove, “Grandpa’s waiting in the car so he can take me to the park, bye mom.” suddenly turning around to look at Nora again, “Now that I know about the baby I can take care of you too, just like dad told me I should.”
“You already take good care of me, your dad would be really proud.”
Len honks the horn, “Gotta go, mom. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye…,”reaching over and picking up her journal…”November 20, 2003…Our son asked about the baby today….He’s one amazing little boy you know that. I think he could sense that there were just some questions I wasn’t ready to answer…and he thanked me for making him a big brother….What a kid, and every time he says he has to take care of me, he reminds me so much of you. You always took such good care of me, you always put me first.”
Two weeks later…
She sits in the crowded waiting room watching couple after couple come and go; the excitement and anticipation about their new babies evident on their faces. Nora places a hand across her stomach and looks at the empty seat beside her. She closes her eyes then re-opens them; a pair of blue eyes looking back at her…”Nora…”
“Nora, Nora Buchanan?”
Nora snaps back to reality as she hears the nurse calling her name, “I’m sorry. I’m Nora Buchanan.”
“The doctor will see you now, please follow me.” Nora follows the nurse down the long hallway a single tear escaping down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away before the nurse turns around. “You can change in here,” pointing to a portion of the room behind a curtain, “The doctor should be in, in just a moment and we’ll do your ultrasound.”
“Thank you.”
An hour later Nora is sitting in Rachel’s living room; her journal on her lap; a few tears wetting her cheeks, December 1, 2003…I went to the Dr. today and I saw our little girl for the first time, well they say it’s too soon to tell, but I know she’s a little girl. It was so amazing, Bo”, running her fingers over the black and white photograph, “You know I bet you’re going to have to get extra men on your force just to watch out for her when she becomes a teenager….”
*~*~
Another month passes….
Gabrielle walks into the living room carrying a notepad, a pencil behind her ear. She sits down next to Bo on the couch, “Bo darling, you’re a million miles away.”
“Oh, I’m sorry Gabrielle; I was just thinking about…about a case I’m working on.”
“I understand, but you said you were ready to sit down and plan the wedding. Do you still want to do that today?”
“Of course….let’s plan our wedding.”
**flashback**
“Welcome to “Happy Plan Your Wedding Day”, “pushing him down onto the couch.
He pulls her down onto the couch beside him, “Right back at ya, Red.”
**end of flashback**
“Okay first things first, have you decided on what color tux you wanted? Black or white?...”
**flashback**
“Clothes for you, have you ordered your tuxedo?”
“Well I really wanted to get one of those really ruffled shirts that look like a plate of lasagna, but I don’t know what color to get because I don’t know the color of your dress; or the whole scheme. You know I really think that’s your department…”
“Bo, Bo what color tuxedo do you want to wear?”
“Oh, umm….whatever you think is best,” she looks at him disappointed, “Black’s fine.”
“Okay, clothes done. What kind of food should we serve?”
“Right…food…”
**flashback**
“Food, have you done food?”
“No, food is you. I find the hall.”
“Oh, okay, then where are we having it?”
“I have to know what we’re serving first…”
“Bo, does salmon sound fine?”
“Salmon’s fine, honey.”
“Okay, the foods done. Now music…”
**flashback**
“So, “Stand By Me?”
“Oh, need you even ask?”
“Okay then, that’s 283 must have songs that we want to hear at our wedding. Do you think we can fine a band that can do all this?”
“Why do we need a band? We can just hire a DJ. We can give them the CDs and dance until we drop.”
“Honey, you’re brilliant…”
“Bo, Bo darling, did you hear me? I asked if you wanted a band or a DJ.”
“Whatever you decide is fine with me, okay,” standing up; walking out onto the terrace.
“Bo, are you alright?”
“I’m fine, just a lot on my mind that’s all.”
She looks down at her watch, “Okay, well I have to get to the office. I’ll see you tonight,” leaning up to kiss him, but he moves slightly, she ends up kissing him on the cheek. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Bo stands on the terrace for a few minutes; looking out over the water. He runs his hands through his hair as he walks back into the house, making his way towards the bedroom. He walks over to the dresser and pulls out a small box from the back of one of the drawers. He opens the box and looks down at the gold band.
*~*~
Nora slowly walks through the maternity ward; looking at all the newborns lying wrapped in their pink and blue blankets. She watches as a little boy, Matthew’s age, holds his little sister for the first time.
“She looks just like you did when you were born,” the proud father says.
Nora just smiles as the little boy looks up at her; his eyes beaming with pride.
“It’s getting harder and harder to do this without you by my side,” she says to herself, knowing this is the way it has to be until Bo is no longer free to push his happiness aside, for her.
*~*~*
At the same time back in Llanview:
Matthew comes running into the living room; plopping down on the couch beside Bo, who is absentmindedly twisting his old wedding band in his fingers. Matthew looks down at the ring and then up at his father, “Hey dad, what’s that?”
“Huh?”
“That,” he points to the ring, leaning in to take a closer look, “Hey that looks just like the one mom wears.”
“This, oh this is noth,” looks at Matthew, “What did you say?”
“It looks just like moms, but hers is for a girl,” he says as he jumps off the couch and heads to his bedroom.
**flashback**
“Ready?”
“Ready?”
“Well, than let’s get this show on the road.”
**end of flashback**
“That’s it, Red, no more avoiding me.” He picks up the phone, “Pa, I need to take the jet.”
TBC....