From Forbidden Fruit to Love Renewed Chapter 14

Six weeks later...

Bo walks into Nora's house carrying a sleeping Matthew in his arms. Nora walks in behind them closing the door. "I'm going to go lay him down; he's had a long day at the hospital." They walk back down the stairs a few minutes later and sit together on the couch; his arm around her shoulders; her head lying on his shoulder. "I can't wait until we can bring our little girl home."

"Tomorrow, Red, the doctors said she'd be able to come home as soon as she reached 6 lbs. She finally has, so now we just have to wait one more day for the rest of her tests to come back."

"I know but I want her here with us, this going back and forth to the hospital is just too much, Bo." no longer able to keep her tears from falling, "God, look at me I'm a mess. I'm crying over nothing. It’s just that she’s so little and so vulnerable, I don’t…I don’t know what I would’ve done if she hadn’t made it."

Taking her in his arms, "Shh, don't go there, honey, okay? She's fine, you're fine," taking her hand and bringing them up to his lips, gently kissing them. "Everything’s going to be just fine. We've got our whole lives ahead of us, Nora."

She looked at him, tears still falling down her face, "Our whole lives; do you know how long I have wanted that?"

“I’ve wanted it too, and now here we are,” wiping the tears off her cheeks, “together.”

"I know I just can't help thinking about how close I came to losing both of you, because of my stupidity."

"Honey, you've got to let the past go, I have."

"But I'm not very good at that...I mean have you really gotten past what I did?"

"Past it? No, but that doesn't mean we need to dwell on it."

Looking down at her hands in her lap, "You missed out on so many special moments, times during my pregnancy, both of them, times that we should’ve shared together. I lied to you about your own child."

“We both made mistakes back when you were pregnant with Matthew and this time around…well… I let you lie to me... I knew all along Aurora was mine. I know you all too well, Red. You don't do things like jumping from one bed to another so casually."

"I had done it before, what makes you so sure I wouldn't do it again?"

"First of all what happened with Sam is not the same thing at all. You were trying to convince me that there was some other man, some man that you were madly in love with, and that you had spent one night with me, stepping out on him. I knew that it was a lie because what you did before was out of desperation and because you did not sleep with another man for the hell of it. Besides you knew what it had cost you the last time. It cost you us, and I know if you were desperately in love with this other man you would’ve never been with me.”

“I…I don’t deserve you, Bo. I don’t deserve your understanding and your…”

“Forgiveness,” he takes her face in his hands, "Nora look at me,” she raised her eyes, so she was looking into his, "Tell me what you see when you look into my eyes.”

"I see...forgiveness, I see love, and I see everything I’ve ever wanted."

"Do you want to know what I see when I look into your eyes?", she shook her head no, "Well I'm going to tell you, anyway. I see the truth and the truth is you love me...and you thought, that letting me go was how you needed to show that love, but you were wrong because Nora Buchanan...I love you with all my heart, and I've never stopped, and that means that I can't let you go, ever again because I realize now, that when I’m not with you, the best part of me disappears."

"Bo…"

"Shh, I'm not finished,” he kisses her quick on the lips to silence her, "You and me together, with our children is all I'll ever need for the rest of my life, and that's what's important, that's what gives me reason to open my eyes in the morning. The whole time I was on my way to Chicago and then back to Llanview all I could think about was what it felt like holding you against me, falling asleep knowing you were safe in my arms. I had forgotten that feeling." shaking his head, "No I had buried that feeling so deep inside of me, but that night in Harrisburg, there it was...that feeling of peace, of being home, the feeling that only you can give me. I found what I'd been missing and it was right where I had left it..."

“You didn't leave it Bo…I threw it away by sleeping with Sam.”

“I didn't really give you a choice in the end, when I walked out the door.”

“I should have known you wouldn't be able to raise another man's child as your own, not because you couldn't love him, but because you couldn't do to someone else what had been done to you.”

"But you were terrified that you were going to lose the best thing that ever happened to you just like I was afraid that I had already lost the best thing that happened to me when I walked out that door, but that’s all over now, because you and I are sitting here together and my hearts beating normal again," he lifts her hand and places it over his heart, “I’m…”

"Moooom!!!", their son screams from upstairs.

They turn to look at the steps as Matthew comes running down them, he walks around the couch and crawls into his mother's lap," What's the matter, sweetie?"

"I had a bad dream,” he says through his tears. She brushed the hair back off his face, "What kind of dream, champ?"

"I dreamt that you and daddy were angels and Aurora and I were all alone.

"Oh, sweetie, your dad and I aren't going anywhere. We're here and we're fine."

"But, but…”

"No buts champ, you, me, your mom and sister are going to be stuck together for a long time. You’re just going to have to get used to it, buddy.”

"Always, we'll always be together..”, he looked up at his father, his eyes wide.

*flashback*

”I made myself be brave while you were gone but you're here now and with you holding me I can feel…I can feel what I would have lost. I don't think I can live without you Bo, that's all I can't live without you"

"Honey I'm never gonna leave you I mean even if I have to go away for a little while I'm always gonna find my way back.”

"Promise Bo; promise me you'll always come back to me.”

"Always"

*end of flashback*

Bo looks into Nora's eyes as he remembers the conversation from their past....forgetting Matthew was even there, "I'll always come back to you,” he whispers still lost in thought.

She looks over at him as he spoke those words. She reaches out and takes his hand, bringing him back to the present, "You always keep your promises, don't you Buchanan.

He looks down, ashamed, "No," he barely whispers, “No, no I haven't.”

"Dad, you should always keep your promises, why didn’t you keep a promise?"

"Hey Matthew, I think we need to get you back up to bed." She goes to get up.

"No." He pulls her back down. "He's right…”

"Bo…we don't have to do this."

"If we don't do this we can never truly let it go.”

"Look if you want to talk about this, we will, but," she nods at Matthew, "he needs to go to bed, tomorrow is a school day."

"You’re right, but we are finishing this."

"We will,” looking down at Matthew, “C'mon honey," she takes his hand and leads him upstairs to bed.

Bo gets off the couch running his hand through his hair as he walks over to the bookshelf. Lying there is Matthew's baby book; he picks it up opening it "Matthew Hanen,” mutters, “Rappaport”, never hearing her come down the stairs.

She sees what is in his hands and walks over to him, placing her hand on his arm. "We really don't have to do this."

"No, we have to…”, taking the book over to the couch, “I walked out on you when you were pregnant with my son, MY son...I missed out on all of this…with our son…"

She walks back over to the couch and sits down beside him, glancing down at the picture of her and Matthew when he came home from the hospital, a picture taken by the wrong man, "But we didn't know he was your son, because of what I did."

"You did what you thought was necessary…”

"I broke our wedding vows. I..."

"So did I...You thought that the only reason I came back to you was because you were pregnant, but more than that, I told you nothing you did would ever make me leave you, but that’s exactly what I did…”

"I really believed I was pregnant when I told you that I was. That night before you left, when we made love, I felt like we had created a life, but then when I got your test results, I didn't know what to think. You were lying in that hospital bed, hanging on by a thread for a baby that I didn't think could ever exist. I didn't know what to do Bo, and the only person that could help me, the only person I wanted, was you…I wanted to tell you about the baby, that there wasn't one...I even tried to tell you once but..."

"But then I flatlined and you thought it was because of the baby? he lifts her chin; forcing her to look at him, "I'm right, aren't I?"

She nods, "What else could I think?"

"So you turned to Sam, thinking that the only way I would come back to you was if you were pregnant."

She swallows, "God Bo, I know how stupid that sounds now, but then…I mean Asa was telling me that…," she shook her head, "no I won't do that, the only one to blame is me."

"Nora..."

She places her fingers on his lips silencing him, moving her hand so that it’s lying on his cheek, "No, please don't say I did what I thought was best. I should've trusted in our love. I should've believed that nothing could tear us apart."

"True, but I shouldn't have pushed you into another man's arms. I stood there and told him to take care of you. I shouldn't have left you to go on that boat, I was hurting and I didn't let you in, after years of preaching to you to let me in, when it was my turn, I did exactly what I told you not to, I shut you out, the one person in this world who can help me get through anything, I walked away from.," turning to her, taking her face in his hands, "We were both wrong, we both made mistakes, and we have both paid the consequences....and now we have been given a second chance and I’m going to do everything in my power to make good on every promise I ever made you. I promised that I would be the last face you saw every night before you closed your eyes and the first one you saw when you opened them and that's the biggest promise I broke when I walked out that door, leaving you alone and pregnant with our son. Our son, Nora...And, and now we have to make sure we let the past be the past and make a life for our son and daughter. So are you up to the task, Red? No more looking back?"

Looking into his eyes, "I waited my whole life to find someone like you, someone who loves me for who I am, who has never once tried to change me, but who has accepted my faults and even loved me for them instead of just despite them," he wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes, "I lost you, because I was scared of losing you, that sounds so ridiculous, but it's true, I couldn't imagine my life without you, and if it weren't for Matthew I wouldn't have survived, of course if it weren't for Matthew, we never would have been apart."

"We didn't split because of Matthew; we split up because we let other people in where they didn't belong. Now, I don't know if we would've made it to this place if we hadn’t found out the truth about Matthew, but that doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that we're a family...and we've finally come home."

“Home…I like the sound of that.”, she leans in and kisses him. “So Mr. Buchanan…what do you say we go upstairs…I want to fall asleep with your arms holding me tight.”

He leans in and takes her in his arms, his kiss showing her that the past is gone, and they have nothing but their future waiting for them. Holding hands they head upstairs.

TBC....