From Forbidden Fruit to Love Renewed Chapter 12
“Larry, what’s going on? Talk to me, someone tell me what’s going on now!”
“Come on, Commissioner Buchanan, let’s wait outside; let Dr. Woleck do his job.”, leading him out into the hallway, “She’s in excellent hands.”
He looks at the nurse, his eyes pleading with her, “You have to bring her back. Please….you have to.”
“We will, Commissioner, we will.”
“Come on, Nora, honey, you can’t do this to me twice in a lifetime. Keep up with the compressions…another round of EPI…Okay….Okay…here she is…alright we’ve got her back.”
Bo stands outside the door watching as Larry fights to save her life. He sits down in a chair across from the room; thankful that Renee and Asa had taken Matthew home shortly after they had gotten to the hospital. Bo pulls out his cell phone and dials the familiar number, “Rachel….yeah honey, it’s me….Rachel….Rachel, listen to me…Your mother went into labor a few hours ago…No, no they couldn’t stop it….The baby’s doing fine, she’s in the PICU right now…Listen Rachel, you need to come home”, his tears stealing his voice away for a moment, walking over to the door his hand resting on the glass, “some…something happened, Rachel…the alarms went off….Rachel, you need to hurry”, quietly, “please hurry…”
Bo hits the end button and dials another one. “Pa…yeah she had the baby”, smiling despite his tears, “she’s doing fine, Pa. She’s perfect, they have her in the PICU because she was so early, but they said she should be fine, but Pa, listen something happened after the delivery”, his voice cracking once again, “Its Nora. There were… there were complications…No; I don’t know any details right now. They rushed me out of the room and…hold on, Pa. I’ll have to call you back, Larry’s here…Yeah, love you too, Pa.”, he walks over to Larry, shoving his phone in his pocket, “Larry, what happened?”
“Nora’s blood pressured spiked just after delivery, her heart stopped but we were able to bring her back quickly, within a minute, but….”
“But what Larry…”
“Bo, the sudden rise in her blood pressure caused a mild stroke. Now she hasn’t woken up yet…”
“Will she…wake up I mean?”
“It’s too soon to tell, Bo.”
“Will…will there be any complications because of the stroke…any after effects?”
“We’ll know more when she wakes up. Like I said…”
“I know; it’s too soon to tell.”
“Right, until she wakes up we won’t be able to assess her condition. Listen, Bo why don’t you go check on your daughter while we move Nora up to a private room in the mother baby unit. She’ll be right down the hall from the PICU. We should have her settled in a half hour or so. Go be with your daughter.”
‘My daughter”, he thinks to himself. He hadn’t really been able to let the fact that he was a father again sink in once all the alarms went off. He looks up at Larry, with tears in his eyes, “I have a daughter, Larry.”
“Yes, you do, and she’s perfect, now go before visiting hours in the PICU are up. I’ll see you in a half hour.”
Bo nodded his head and walked towards the elevator. He walked through the steel doors waiting until they closed before he gave into the tears. He slid down the wall of the elevator; hitting the stop button, before burying his face in his hands, letting himself finally feel all the emotions that have built up inside of him over the past seven months.
He exited the elevator a few minutes later; making his way down the long hallway; passed the nursery. He paused for a moment and looked through the glass at all of the babies lying in their bassinets. He walked passed the nursery entrance, towards the second door marked PICU. He knocked on the window and waited for them to allow him in.
“Commissioner Buchanan, we’ve been waiting for you. We heard about Ms. Buchanan. We’ll be keeping her in our thoughts.”
“Thank you.”
She hands him a pair of scrubs and gloves, “You’ll need to change into these before we go in. You just put them right over your clothes.”
“How is she doing?”, he asks as he slips on the last glove.
“She’s doing well. We’ve already removed her from the respirator which is a very good sign.” She stops in front of an incubator. “Here’s your little girl, Commissioner. Do you have a name for her yet?”
“Nora and I never had a chance to discuss it…”
Sensing that she was touching on a sensitive area the nurse quickly changed the subject, “You can touch her if you want. It’ll help her get stronger if she knows her daddy’s here with her.”
He reaches in, his hand trembling as he lays it on her small head, “Hey there little princess, it’s me, your dad. Your mom’s downstairs right now…she’s…she’s resting. She’ll come see you as soon as she can. We love you little one, we love you more than anything in this world, so keep getting stronger so we can take you home”, “home”, he thinks to himself. Yes, they will take her home, together. He feels a hand rest on his shoulder. He turns around and looks into the eyes of his first “daughter”, the first “child” Nora ever gave him. “Rach…isn’t she beautiful?”
“She’s the most perfect little thing I’ve ever seen.”
He turns and smiles at her, “Have you seen your mother yet?”
“No, Larry was still getting her settled so he told me to come here.”
“I’m glad you’re here Rachel. Your mother needs you.”
She lays her hand on the arm of the only other man in her life that she was proud to think of as “dad”, “Bo, my mom has everything she needs right here”, pointing at him. “You’re all she’s ever needed, Bo.”
“Then why did she run?”
She opens her purse and pulls out Nora’s journal, “Read this, I think it holds the answers to all your questions.” Bo takes the journal from Rachel and quickly flips through the pages, the sight of her familiar handwriting bringing fresh tears to his eyes, “She loves you so much, Bo. I don’t think she’s ever stopped.”
“I love her too, Rachel, and I KNOW I’ve never stopped.”
“Go sit with her, Bo. I’m going to go to Asa and Renee’s, and see my little brother.”
“Don’t tell him anything about Nora yet, okay? I’ll tell him if and when the need arises. I’ll give it until tomorrow. Maybe she’ll wake up before I need to tell him.”
“She will, Bo. She has a lot to come back to”, she leans in and kisses him on the cheek, “I love you, Bo.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart. Give Matty a kiss for me and tell him we love him very much.”
“I will”, she hugs him once more; “Call me if there are any changes.”
“I will.”
Bo changes out of his scrubs and walks down towards the other end of the hallway. He sees Larry come out into the hallway. He makes his way down to the room; her journal held tightly in his hand, “Any change, Larry?”
“No, Bo. I’m sorry; there haven’t been any changes, yet. But it’s still early. Her body is still trying to recover. We’ll begin to be concerned if it last more than a few days. Go in and sit with her, it’ll help if you talk to her and let her know you’re there”, noticing the journal in his hand, “What’s that?” pointing at the journal.
“The truth.”
Sensing that that was the only answer he was going to get Larry decided to drop it, “I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll come by and check on her in a few hours.”
“Thank you, Larry.”
“Get some rest too, Bo. You’re going to need it.”
Bo walked in and sat down beside her bed; placing the journal on the table beside the bed. He took her hand in his and brought it up to his lips, “Hey there, Red. Larry says you’re just resting and that you need your rest, but I’d feel so much better if you’d just open your eyes for me, just for a minute. So what do you say….No, okay well I’ll be patient, but not for long, okay? I need to see those eyes, Red.”
He lays her hand down beside her and picks up the journal and begins to seek the answers to all his questions….
How do I,
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,
*******
October 5, 2003…Pregnant…When the word came out of Larry’s mouth I couldn’t believe it. I was pregnant, and again my happiness was tainted with sadness. We’re having a baby, Bo. When are we ever going to stop screwing things up, doing every thing the wrong way?
He turns the page and continues to read….
October 6, 2003…You just dropped me off…and I could see the pain in your eyes as you turned to leave. I’m not sure if you believed my lie…and that’s exactly what it was. This child I’m carrying is yours Bo, there hasn’t been anyone else but you since Troy.
I wanted to tell you the truth, Bo. I came to the Palace last night to do just that, but….but then I saw Gabrielle, and…she showed me the ring. I couldn’t do it. I knew if you found out the truth you would put your happiness on hold, and I couldn’t let you do that. I’ve kept you from finding happiness once before, I couldn’t do it again….so I lied. I’m sorry, Bo. I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me.
Once I know you’re married I’ll tell you the truth. I’ll never keep you from this child. She’ll know you’re her father. I promise you, Bo. You’ll know your child.
******
He closes the journal and stands up, brushing a strand of hair out of her face, “Oh, Red…I wish you would’ve trusted me.”
And tell me now
How do I live without
you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
He walked over to the window and looked out over the city, the lights dancing in the darkness. He sat down in the corner chair and continued to read….
******
November 1, 2003….I sit here staring out at the water thinking about how different my life could be if I had been brave enough to trust in your love five years ago, wow…five years. Doesn’t seem like five years have passed, in so many ways it seems like yesterday. I saw a mother and father just now, playing on the beach with their children. I immediately thought of Matthew and how that family could’ve been us….I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough to believe that our love could survive anything…
*******
“It’ll survive this, Red….It has to.”
******
November 20, 2003…Our son asked about the baby today….He’s one amazing little boy you know that. I think he could sense that there were just some questions I wasn’t ready to answer…and he thanked me for making him a big brother….What a kid we have, Commish. Every time he says he has to take care of me, he reminds me of you. You always took such good care of me, you always put me first.
Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,
And tell me now,
How do I live without
you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Larry came and went and so did another night and day…Day Two
*********
December 1, 2003…I went to the Dr today and I saw our little girl for the first time, well they say it’s too soon to tell, but I know she’s a little girl. It was so amazing, Bo. You know I bet you’re going to have to get extra men on your force just to watch out for her when she becomes a teenager….”
*******
He flipped through the pages…each entry describing her every emotion, her every thought as their child grew inside of her. She took him day by day through out the entire pregnancy, knowing deep down he should’ve been there with her, going through all of this with her, like they had dreamed of doing with Matthew….His love for her and his anger and hurt at what she had done did battle inside him.
********
December 10, 2003….I was right Bo, we’re having a little girl. Matthew is going to be so excited about having a little sister…. I miss you Bo, I miss my best friend, but things are the way they need to be right now. You’ll be married to Gabrielle soon and then I can come home.
Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Real in my life?
Another night of falling stars, another day dawning…Day Three…A child’s questions answered…his fears set aside…”She’s just sleeping, buddy…”
*****
January 12, 2004…Matthew told me today that you finally set a wedding date….I guess things will finally be the way they should be. You’ll be happy and I’ll be able to come home and I’ll finally be able to tell you the truth….The truth…something that’s getting harder and harder to keep hidden. Matthew asked about the baby’s father today. I could see the confusion in his eyes. How am I supposed to tell him that his father is also this baby’s father when there’s no chance of us being together as a family? He told me I shouldn’t worry about the baby; that you would love her and take care of her. I almost told him the truth, Bo…well the truth will be out in another month. I just hope you both will be able to forgive me.
*****
He could feel the pain in her words at the thought of him marrying another. If only she had let him in…if only she hadn’t decided that it was her place to make all the decision, things could’ve been so different…if only….
And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
He fell asleep in the chair for a few hours, the emotions and the stress of the past few hours, exhausting him….waking just before dawn.
He walked back over to the window and looked out at the early morning sky, the pinks and the blues streaking across it; signaling the start of a new day….Day Four…The last entry…the last piece of truth…
*****
February 12, 2004….Well tomorrow’s the day, Bo…your wedding day. I know you’ll be happy with Gabrielle and that’s all I want for you…Your daughter is doing somersaults right now, always making her presence known, just like her brother did.
I thought of a name for our daughter just now, Bo. I’m sitting here by the water, just before dawn, and it just hit me…”Aurora”, it means “goddess of the dawn” I chose it because this is the time of day, when I come and sit by the water, that I feel you the most..
*****
He walks back over to the bed and sits down on the edge of it, picking her hand up; intertwining his fingers with hers. “Okay, Red, a new day’s started…time to wake up...”
“Jeez, Buchanan, don’t you know it’s polite to say please…” a smile spreading across her face, the moisture in her brown eyes, mirroring the moisture in his.
TBC....