Part Five:

Matthew continues to stare Bo down, demanding Bo to just try and deny what he felt was true. His sister was gone because she was having a baby and no one was going to tell him different. Bo saw the way he was squaring his shoulders, getting ready for a fight. Just like his mother, Bo thinks to himself. Bo reaches out and cups Matthew’s chin in his hand, “Amalya did not kill your sister, Matthew. Your sister was hit by a car; a drunk driver killed your sister, not Amalya.”

Matthew shakes his head, “I heard mom and grandma yelling at each other about it, dad. Mom said that if Rachel wasn’t going to have a baby then she would’ve had a chance to live. That because she had the baby inside her, she died. That’s why I hate her, dad,” Matthew begins to cry, “I don’t have a sister anymore because of her, and now she…never mind.” He says getting up and walking over to the window.

“And now she what, Matthew?,” Matthew remains quiet, his shoulders shaking slightly. Bo pulls his desk chair around and sits down beside him at the window, “What, Matthew, what is Amalya doing now?”

Matthew turns and looks at Bo, the tears still falling; “Now she’s taking you away from me too.”

Bo reaches out and wipes the tears off of Matthew’s cheek and pulls him into his lap, “First of all, no one is or can take me away from you Matthew. You’re my son, you’re stuck with me. Now, let’s get back to what you think you heard your mother say about the baby and Rachel. Your mom was angry at the time, Matthew, and she wasn’t thinking when she said those things.” Unbeknownst to either Matthew or Bo, Nora is standing out in the hallway, listening, “Yes, there may have been a small chance that Rachel would’ve lived if they had been able to give her the operation she needed quicker, and they couldn’t because of Amalya having to be born first, but Rachel knew this, and Rachel made the decision because it was what she thought was right. The doctor’s told your mom and me that by the time Rachel got to the hospital there really wasn’t much they could do for her and even with the operation she still might have died…”

“And I was wrong, Matthew…” Bo and Matthew turn and look over at her, standing in the doorway. She walks over to where they’re sitting and kneels down in front of them, “I tried to blame Amalya too, but your dad and your grandma are right. It was Rachel’s decision, she made the decision as Amalya’s mother and we have to honor that decision by taking care of Amalya, just like Rachel would have.”

“Is that why dad’s moving in?” Matthew asks, looking between his parents.

“Is that what’s bothering you, champ? Do you think I’m moving in because Amalya’s here now, and all this time you’ve wanted your mom and I to get back together, and we haven’t?”

Matthew nods. Nora reaches out and lays her hand on his cheek, “Matthew, sweetie, Amalya is part of the reason why your dad’s moving in but not all of it. Your dad and I haven’t figured it all out yet, and we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but we’re working on figuring it out, and we decided it’s easier to do that if we’re all living here together.”

“Are you guys getting back together?”

Bo and Nora look at each other and then back at Matthew, “We’re still figuring that out, Matthew, but for right now, the main thing you need to know is that your mom and I love you very much and we love Amalya, and no matter what happens down the road, we’re a team, a family; okay?”

Matthew nods, “Okay.”

“Do you understand what your mom and I are trying to telling you about Amayla and Rachel?” Matthew nods, “Your mom and I are going to need your help with her, babies take a lot of work, and when she’s older you can help us tell her all about her mom and how much,” he looks up at Nora who’s tears match his own, “how much Rachel loved her,” he reaches out and wipes the tears off of Matthew’s cheeks, “Do you think you can do that?”

Matthew nods and throws his arms around Bo’s neck. Bo pulls him close and places a kiss on his head, “I love you, dad. I’m glad you’re here,” he says against Bo’s shoulder.

Bo looks over at Nora and smiles. She looks at the two of them and returns Bo’s smile, “I love you too, son,” he looks back up at Nora, “and I’m glad I’m here, too.”

They spent all day with Matthew, taking him to breakfast at the diner, than some time in the park kicking the soccer ball around. They took him to the movies and back to the diner for ice cream sundaes. By the time they got back to the house Matthew had fallen asleep in the back seat.

Bo carries him upstairs and lays him in his bed. Bo walks down the hallway and checks on the baby before going back downstairs. MaryAnn left for the afternoon, promising to be back in time for their dinner date. Nora was sitting on the couch, flipping through a catalog when Bo came down. He sits down beside her and looks down at the catalog, “Whatcha doing, Red?”

She looks up at him, “I thought we would turn the other bedroom into a nursery,” she looks back down at the catalog, “If…if Rachel had lived Amalya would’ve had her own room and I want,” she swallows the lump in her throat, “I want her to have everything, well almost everything; she would’ve had with Rachel.”

Bo puts his arm around her and she rests her head on his shoulder, “We’re going to give Amalya a happy home just like Rachel wanted, a life filled with love and family.”

She lifts her head off his shoulder, “You’re taking on so much here, Bo. Things you have no obligation to take on.”

“See Red, that’s where you’re wrong. This isn’t an obligation to me. You, Matthew, Amalya, you’re not obligations, you’re my family. For some reason God chose to take Rachel from us and for some other reason Rachel chose the two of us to raise Amalya, and I’m going to honor her wishes till my dying day.”

“You’re an amazing man Bo Buchanan. There aren’t many ex-husbands that would take on the raising of their ex’s grandchild, but not you…”

“Rachel was more to me than just your daughter, Red, she was my daughter too. I don’t know if you knew this or not, but Rachel and I talked almost every day since, well since our break up.” his voice cracks, “When we thought we had lost you in that train wreck she’s what kept me from losing it. I think she may have been the only one who saw the truth.”

“What truth?” she asks.

He turns around on the couch so that he’s facing her. He takes the catalog off her lap and drops it on the coffee table. He takes her hands in his and takes a deep breath, “That I never stopped loving you.”

Nora looks at him, taking a ragged breath as she swallows the lump forming in her throat once again. She reaches out and lays her hand on his cheek, “I’ve been fighting these feelings I’ve had for so long and now I realize all I’ve been doing every day for the past six years is breaking my own heart.” She gives into the tears and throws her arms around him, “I love you too, Bo Buchanan.”

Bo breaks their embrace and takes her face in his hands. He slowly leans in, hesitant at first, but longing for the taste of her lips. She closes her eyes, parting her lips slightly in anticipation. She chokes back a sob as his lips finally touch hers. He parts her lips with his tongue, their kiss holding six years worth of hidden love.

A few weeks pass and summer is slowly slipping into fall. Amalya is almost two months old and life has fallen into a manageable state of chaos. Bo has returned to work but Nora has taken an extended leave of absence to take care of Amalya and Matthew.

Soon a few more weeks flew by and Matthew started the fourth grade. Nora fills her days with taking care of the baby and a small case load. Bo has been working night and day on a new case and they’ve spent very little time on their relationship. Bo was still spending his nights in the guest room, both of them having decided that they were going to take things slow.

Bo pulls into the driveway after spending all night and most of the early morning at the office. All he wanted to do was take a long shower and climb into bed. He walks towards the front door, running towards it when he hears the crying coming from inside the house. He throws the door open and runs through the living room and up the stairs two at a time. He rushes down the hallway towards the nursery. He pushes the door open and sees her pacing around, a screaming Amalya on her shoulder.

He walks over and takes the baby from her. Nora collapses in the rocking chair and drops her head in her hands. Bo looks down at her, “What’s going on, Red?, he asks over the crying.

Nora looks up, tears of exhaustion falling down her face, “She’s been crying for almost 12 hours. I called Larry; he came over and checked her out. She’s got an ear infection and the medicine is taking forever to kick in.”

“Why don’t you go lay down, honey? I’ll take care of her for right now.”

Nora stands up, “But you…”

Bo leans in and kisses her, “No buts, Red…go get some sleep.”

Nora runs her hand over Amalya’s back before walking out of the room. She goes down to her bedroom and climbs into the bed, pulling the extra pillow tight against her as she cries along with Amalya. She looks up at the picture of Rachel on the dresser across from her bed and lets out a ragged breath, “I’m trying, Rikki, I hope I’m not letting you down.”

Down the hallway Bo is walking the length of the room, telling Amalya stories about life on the ranch, horseback riding, and how maybe great-grandpa Asa will buy her one some day. An hour later she begins to calm down, her little chest heaving as a result of her crying. Finally her eyes drift closed and Bo carefully lays her in her crib. He kisses his fingertips and places them on her forehead before turning out the light and closing the door.

Bo walks down the hallway towards her room. He stops just outside her half closed door and hears her muffled cries. He walks in and immediately lies down beside her on the bed and pulls her against him. He kisses her shoulder, holding her tight as her crying slowly subsides, “Close your eyes, Red, close your eyes and let it all go.” He rises up on his elbow, his other arm draped across her middle. He kisses her head and shoulder once again and begins to sing…

Way out on the ocean
Far across the seven seas
There's a tiny little boat
Faith is keeping her afloat
With a tiny little skipper
And a worn and tattered coat
You know the law of the ocean
Says that you shall never fail
To choose your heart as a rudder
Faith as a compass
And your blanket for a sail.

She moves her body closer to him, the sound of his voice and the memory the song invokes enveloping her just like his arms, and she begins to drift to sleep, “I love you,” she whispers as she finally gives in.

“I love you too, Red. I love you too.” He whispers back, before giving into sleep himself.

TBC…