Part Three:

He hands the papers to her and watches her as she reads the words in front of her. She looks up at him a few minutes later, fresh tears staining her face, “Why…why us? I mean why us together? We’re not together anymore…how…how are we going to do this?”

Bo reaches out and takes the paper from her placing it down on the pew behind him. He takes her hand in his, “Nora, we don’t have to figure this all out right here, right this moment. We’ll take care of things here and then we’ll worry about what we’re going to do about home when we get there. Right now I think you need to go see your granddaughter.”

“I can’t…” she whispers as she stares at her hands in her lap.

He pulls her up off the pew, “Yes you can, Nora. She needs you,” he pauses for a moment and lifts her chin, forcing her to look at him, “and you need her.”

She shakes her head, “What she needs is her mother. She needs Rachel,” she begins to choke on her sobs, “She needs….”

“Yes, yes she needs her mother, but her mother’s not here any more Nora and there’s nothing…nothing we can do to change that. God, I wish I could. I wish there was something I could do to turn back time, that I could bring her back to you…to us, but I can’t. All I know right now is this, there’s an innocent little baby up there that needs you. She needs to know she’s not alone.”

Nora nods and picks the paper up off the pew. She looks down at the document, running her hand over Rachel’s signature. She looks up at Bo who tilts his head towards the door. She nods and lets him lead her out the door, his hand resting softly on the small of her back.

They enter the elevator in silence. He watches her as she stares at the numbers light up above their heads. He hears her quick intake of breath as they wait for the doors to open. He follows her out of the elevator and walks beside her down the hallway.

He knocks on the door and they both wait for the nurse to arrive to let them in. The nurse smiles as she opens the door, “Ahh…Mr. Buchanan, you’re back and this must be your wife,” Bo and Nora both look at each other, neither able to say anything as the nurse continues to speak, “You’re just in time, she’s hungry and we were just about to feed her.”

Bo pauses allowing Nora to take the lead. He watches her as she follows the nurse over to the bassinet. He sees her shoulders slump and her ragged intake of breath when she first lays her eyes on her granddaughter. She looks up at him and he sees her silent plea. He walks over and stands next to her. She looks up at him and smiles through the tears welling up. She takes strength from his presence as she reaches in and lifts Amalya out of the bassinet.

The nurse hands her the bottle and she walks over to the rocking chair, placing her in the crook of her arm. The nurse walks away, leaving them alone. Bo walks over and kneels down beside her, reaching out to run his finger down the baby’s arm, stopping on her hand that is wrapped around Nora’s finger. They look up at each other, their eye contact broken when Amalya shifts in Nora’s arms.

Nora looks down at the baby and back up at Bo. She stands up and hands her to Bo, “I…I can’t...I need some air.”

Bo watches her walk out the door, turning his attention back to Amalya when she begins to cry. He looks down into her beautiful little face and his heart breaks…for the little girl who will never know her mother, for the mother who just lost her daughter…for all of them. He walks over to the rocking chair and sits down, slowly rocking her, “Shh…my sweet angel,” he looks up at the door that Nora just ran through, “Don’t you worry about your grandma. She loves you little one…we’ll just both have to give her time.”

The next few days went by in a fog. Nora, Bo and Amalya are all staying in Rachel’s townhouse, following the Jewish tradition of spending Shiva or the seven days of mourning in the deceased’s home. Matthew, Asa and Renee are due to arrive the following day. Nora walks around the house in a daze, barely eating. Rachel’s belongings still sit in a bag on the table in the living room. She wouldn’t talk about Rachel; she wouldn’t really talk at all.

Bo sits on the couch, Amalya asleep in the bassinet beside the couch. Nora was sitting on the other couch, her legs drawn up under her. She holds a pillow tight against her chest, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the fringe. She’s staring straight ahead, her eyes fixed on the shroud covered mirror hanging on the wall across from where she sits. Bo watches her, noticing the toll this is all taking on her. He looks over at Amalya adjusting her blanket before looking over at Nora one more time. He leaves the room, unnoticed.

He returns twenty minutes later with a couple of sandwiches and two bottles of root beer. He places the tray on the table in front of her and picks up her plate. He sits down on the couch in front of her, causing her to break the hold she had on the wall in front of her. She looks at him for the first time that afternoon. She smiles a small smile and looks down at the plate he is holding out. She shakes her head, “I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t care, Red. You’re going to eat this, even if it means I have to hold you down and force feed you.”

“I don’t…”

He picks up the sandwich and moves closer to her, ready to stick it in her mouth, when she takes it from him. Bo smiles, “That’s better. You need to keep your strength up.”

She was halfway done the sandwich when there was a knock on the door. Bo lays his hand on her knee, “I’ll get it; you just finish that sandwich.” Bo walks to the door and pulls it open expecting it to be another person there to deliver the customary meal. Instead he was met with the tired and tear filled eyes of his best friend. They quickly embrace, “I’m so sorry, buddy.” Bo says his voice thick with emotion.

“I can’t believe she’s gone, Bo, my little girl.” Bo pulls him into another embrace. They break their embrace, their hands still on each other’s shoulders, “Where’s Nora?”

Bo looks towards the living room, “She’s in the living room on the couch. I finally got her to eat something. I…I just don’t know what to do for her.”

Hank squeezes his shoulder, “Just being here is enough, buddy…for both of us.”

Bo stands off to the side allowing Hank to enter the room first. He sits down on the couch beside her. She slowly looks up at him, the tears falling unchecked onto their cheeks as they hold each other. He breaks their embrace and takes her face in his hands, brushing the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. She shakes her head, as he continues to hold her face, “I don’t know what I’m going to do now,” she says quietly.

He leans in and kisses her forehead, “We live our lives like she would want us to,” he looks over at Bo and back down at Nora, “We find happiness and love just like she always wanted us to have.”

Nora nods, “I’m…I’m sorry we had to bury her without you. Mama and Daddy, they just wanted everything to be done just right. It seems to have made it easier for them and I didn’t want to take that away from them.”

Hank squeezes her hand, “It’s okay; I understand how important tradition is to them.” He reaches out and brushes the hair away from her face, “I promise you, its okay.”

Nora nods and is about to say something when the baby starts to cry. Hank looks over at Nora and he sees the pain and a little bit of anger flash across her face. He looks over at Bo who was still standing in the entrance to the living room. Bo nods, seeing the question and concern in Hank’s eyes. Bo walks over and lifts Amalya out of the bassinet and walks over towards where they’re seated on the couch.

Nora stands up and drops the pillow on the couch, “I’m going to go lie down,” she says quietly as she leaves the room.

Bo walks over and sits down on the couch beside Hank, sitting Amalya in the crook of his arm. He looks down at her and up at Hank, “This is your grandfather, Amalya.” Hank looks at her and smiles, taking her in his arms when Bo hands her to him.

Hank looks at Bo, the tears forming once again, “She’s…she’s beautiful. She looks so much like Rachel.”

Bo nods, “She’s perfect.”

Hank looks back down at her and they just sit there in silence for a while as Amalya falls back to sleep in her grandfather’s arms. He stands up and takes her back over to the bassinet, carefully laying her down. Hank adjusts the blanket over her, his mind stepping back in time for a moment and it was Rachel lying in the bassinet, the same blanket covering her. He walks back over and sits down next to Bo. He looks over at the bassinet and then over to the stairs where Nora had escaped to moments before, “She’s blaming the baby, isn’t she?”

Bo nods, “I don’t think she’s consciously doing it but she’s having a hard time bonding with the baby,” he looks over at Amalya, “I…I don’t know what to do about it, Hank, and I only have a few days to figure it out.”

Hank looks at him, confused, “What do you mean…a few days.”

He stands up and walks over to the dining room table. He walks back into the living room and hands Hank the envelope full of documents. Hank pulls out the first document and reads it over. He nods, “I see what you mean.”

“I…I have no idea why Rachel chose the two of us to raise Amalya. I mean we’re not even together, but I promised Rachel the night that we buried her that I would take care of her daughter as though she were my own granddaughter, but with Nora pretty much backing away from the baby, I don’t know what we’re going to do when we get back to Llanview.”

Hank lays his hand on Bo’s knee, “First of all, you ARE Amalya’s grandfather and you know that, Bo. Even if the two of you haven’t figured out how stubborn you’ve both been all these years, you’re her grandfather.” Hank notices the look on Bo’s face. He raises his hands in front of him, “Anyway, Nora will come around Bo. We both know how she processes things; you know that even better than I do. I’ve never quite understood the woman, but you…you always have, you know her better than anyone. So, you’ll go back to Llanview, and you’ll figure it out”

The next few days pass quickly. Asa and Renee brought Matthew to Chicago and stayed with them to help out. They stayed at Len and Selma’s while the rest of them stayed at Rachel’s house. Matthew wouldn’t let Nora or Bo out of his sight. He refused to go to sleep without either of them, so the three of them slept together in Rachel’s room.

Ten days after Rachel’s death they arrived back in Llanview aboard Asa’s jet. Hank had to return to Africa, promising that he’d be back for a visit as soon as he could get away. Two hours after leaving Chicago the four of them walk through the door of Nora’s house. Nora walks into the living room, her wrap still lying across the back of the chair, where she had left it that night. She picks it up, winding it around her hands, wishing she could go back in time and change what had happened.

Matthew ran right up the stairs, slamming the door to his room, causing Nora to jump at the sound and Amalya to shift in the carrier that Bo is holding. Bo walks into the living room and places the carrier down on the coffee table and sits down on the couch. He lifts her out and balances her on his shoulder as he lays her down on the couch. He reaches for her diaper bag and begins to change her, trying desperately to remember the way Selma and Renee had shown him.

Nora had gone up to check on Matthew and returned a few minutes later after being told to go away. She stands on the stairs for a minute and watches him as he slowly changes her. A sad smile crosses her face, and a lump forms in her throat. For a moment the baby lying on the couch was Matthew, and things were the way they should’ve been so long ago. She shakes free from the memory and walks over to the couch and sits behind him. He lifts Amalya up and turns to face Nora, placing the baby in her lap, “I’m going to go make her bottle; I’ll be right back.”

Bo returns a few minutes later. He walks over to where she’s sitting on the couch, staring at Amalya. He holds the bottle out to her. She looks over at him, and their eyes lock. He can see the war raging through her but he wasn’t giving in. He takes her hand and places the bottle in it and sits back against the couch.

He watches her as she feeds the baby, watching each tear that falls onto her cheek. He moves closer to her, placing his arm around her shoulder. She lays her head on his shoulder as she continues to feed her. Her body shakes with sobs, his grip on her tightens. “Its okay, Red, let it go…just let it go,” he whispers against her hair.

A half hour later a satisfied Amalya is sleeping in the same bassinet that Matthew had slept in and Nora is lying on the couch. Bo sits on the other end of the couch, staring at the TV. He looks over at her, remembering how he had held her after he had taken the baby from her. Bo had felt the walls start to come down, he had seen the way she looked at the baby, and he saw the love he knew she’s been trying to deny.

Bo looks back over at her, lying on the other end of the couch, her hands tucked under her head. He stands up and covers her with the blanket. He picks up his jacket off the back of the chair and quietly picks up his keys. He walks towards the door, stopping when he hears her sit up, “Bo….don’t go…” she whispers in the dark.

TBC…