Chapter Eleven:

Nora was still standing by the window when Susannah softly knocked on the door. Nora turned when she heard the door close. She smiled a small smile; turning back to look out the window, “I don’t want to go through this without him, Susannah.” She leans her head against the glass once again, slamming her hand down onto the windowsill, “God, I want him back” she screams, her body shaking as she cries. Susannah rushes over to her and pulls her into her arms. Nora continues to sob while her sister holds her, both of them sliding down onto the floor, “I want him back…I just want him back.”

“I know you do, honey. I know you do…” She gently strokes her head; allowing her to cry, “I wish things were different…I wish I could take this pain from you,” They sat in silence for a few moments, her crying finally subsiding. They sat on the floor, Susannah still holding her. She could tell that Nora was now lost in thought, “Penny for your thoughts, little sister.”

Nora smiled at the simple phrase that her and Bo had used so many times in the past, “I…I was just thinking about each time I’ve been pregnant with Bo’s baby.” She pauses for a moment, “You know, when I was pregnant with Matthew things went wrong so quickly and things ended, but this…this is so different, so much harder to face. With Matthew he was still here, and regardless of what we believed to be true at the time, in my heart of hearts, Bo was Matthew’s father, and knowing he was there helped, whether we were together or not. Then when I found out I was pregnant with Destiny things spiraled out of control again, but he was right there beside me the whole time, and we found our way back.” She looks over at her sister, the pain and fear so evident it brought tears to Susannah’s eyes, “And now here I am carrying his child once again, another child conceived out a love that has consumed me and brought me more happiness than I ever thought possible, but this time he’s not here. I still can’t believe this is happening. We were careful but I’m still pregnant.” She turns and looks at her left hand, her fingers absentmindedly spinning her rings around. She looks back at Susannah, “I don’t want to do this without him; I don’t think I know how to do this without him.”

“Sometimes things happen for a reason, Nora. You’ve been pregnant three times since your diagnosis, so obviously this pregnancy like the other two, was meant to be.” Susannah stood up, helping her to do the same, “Come on,” she leads her back over to the bed; helping her get comfortable, “You need to rest, Nora. You need to get some sleep. Every thing else will fall into place. You don’t have to figure this all out tonight.”

Nora nods, wiping the tears from her face. Susannah walks over and picks up her purse; walking towards the door, “Suze…”

She turns around and looks at Nora, “Yeah…”

“Could you stay with me tonight? I…I don’t want to be alone.”

Susannah sat down beside her on the bed. Nora laid her head on her big sister’s shoulder. Susannah kisses her head and lies back against the pillow. They laid there in silence until she heard Nora’s steady breathing. She stared up at the ceiling and said a silent prayer for her sister and her unborn child. She prayed that this baby, along with its brother and sister, would be what finally put the light back in her sister’s eyes.

She held Nora throughout the night, through every nightmare. She held her while she cried out for him in her sleep. Just before dawn Susannah quietly climbed out of bed and left to relieve MaryAnn, and get Matthew ready for school. Once Matthew was off to school and Destiny was back down for her nap, Susannah walks into the guest room and lies down on the bed. She pulls the other pillow tight against her chest and cries…cries for her sister, cries for her brother-in-law and all that he will miss, and lastly for the three innocent lives who will go the rest of their lives without their father’s love.

Larry came into the room early the next morning and saw Nora standing by the window. He walked up behind her and laid his hand on her shoulder, “How are you doing, honey?”

Still staring out the window, “I’m sad, I’m angry…” she looks over at Larry, “and I’m scared, and I want to be happy.”

“All of those feelings are normal, Nora.”

She turns and looks back out the window, “How could I not know I was pregnant, Larry?”

“There are a lot of reasons, stress being the biggest one. You lost your husband in a violent manner, you have a son who is dealing with the loss of his father, you have a 10 month old baby at home, and you’ve got a very demanding job. You have a lot on your plate, Nora. You add to that your existing medical condition and it doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t know.”

“How is it even possible that I’ve been able to get pregnant three times since the diagnosis?”

“Nora you know very well that it was possible for you to stay per menopausal for a good ten years or so. You’ve been lucky, very lucky so far…”

“But what if this time I’m not so lucky? What if I’ve hurt the baby? I haven’t been eating, I haven’t been sleeping,” she turns and looks back out the window, “I can’t sleep…”

“Why, what keeps you from sleeping?”

She stares out the window, absentmindedly playing with her wedding rings, “Every time I close my eyes I see his face. I see everything that happened in those last moments, I feel every feeling all over again. Everything’s in slow motion.” She lifts her hand to her cheek, “I can still feel the kiss on my cheek before he walked towards the car. I see the smile that was on his face when he turned back and looked at me,” she turns and looks at Larry, “He winked and placed his hand over his heart, and then suddenly the explosion.” She walks back over to the bed, “I don’t want to see those images so I don’t close my eyes; instead I work.”

“You’re going to have to start sleeping, Nora; painful images and all. You’re also going to have to start forcing yourself to eat.” He helps her back over to the bed, “I’m going to do an ultrasound, just to make sure everything’s going alright in there, I’ll be right back.”

Nora nodded as Larry walked out the door. Nora looked back down at her left hand; placing it lovingly on her stomach, “All of our children are precious gifts, but this one, he’s extra special. He’s the last gift you ever gave me.”

Larry returned a few minutes later. Nora laid back and as the images of their child appeared on the screen she felt Bo’s presence. She looked over at Larry who was studying the images on the screen, “Is the baby, okay?,” he continued to stare at the monitor, “Larry…”

*~*

Bo stepped off the airplane followed by Bridget and Michael. He stood off to the side watching them reunite with their son. Bo couldn’t take his eyes off the little boy. He smiled at the boy’s exuberance and excitement over his baby sister. Bo felt a slight pain behind his eyes; closing them for a moment. When he opened them he saw another brown-haired little boy about 6 years old; a soccer ball tucked under his arm, wearing a smile that could melt even the coldest heart. Bo tried to hold onto the image but just like all the others it was gone as quickly as it came.

Bo felt a hand pull on his arm. He looked down at the little boy; kneeling to get on the little boy’s level, “Are you a friend of my mom and dads?”

Bo smiled at the little boy, “Yes I am,” he looked up at them; “Your mom and dad saved my life.” As the words came out of his mouth, another voice filled his head, ‘You know there’s a Chinese proverb that says He who saves the king from the well becomes his master…’ Bo was brought out of his thoughts by the little boy’s voice, “My names Michael, what’s yours?”

“It’s Ryan…Ryan Devlin.”

Michael extends his hand, “Well it’s nice to meet you Mr. Devlin.”

Bo shakes his hand, and smiles, “Same here.”

Bo watched the reunited family, the feelings the latest flash of memories invoked still fresh. He had to find the Thornhearts, he had to try and get his life back. They drove through the beautiful countryside, but Bo’s mind was somewhere else. He was trying to figure out what he was going to tell these strangers, what he was going to say to them to make them listen; he just hoped they had the answers he was looking for.

*~*

Nora was beginning to panic, “Something’s wrong with the baby… Larry…”

Larry turned off the machine, “Nora, I’m not going to lie to you, there is a concern but it’s something that can be turned around. The baby is small. Its development is right on track with weeks of gestation, but its weight isn’t where it should be. Sometimes babies just don’t gain weight according to the normal parameters. At this point there’s really nothing to worry about, but appetite or not you’re going to have to start eating. The baby needs everything you can give it plus some.” He could see the fear and pain in her eyes. He walks over and sits down on the edge of the bed, “Nora, all of the baby’s vital organs are fine; they’re developing right on schedule, the heartbeat is strong and steady. There isn’t any indication at this point that there’s anything that can’t be rectified. I want you to relax; you’ve got a lot to consider. Your case is unique, and that uniqueness goes far beyond your age.” She nods, “You have to promise me that you’re going to make yourself eat, and you have to get your proper rest.”

Nora brushes the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand, “I’ll do everything I have to do to make sure this baby makes it,” she rests her hands on her stomach, “He’s the last thing Bo gave me. He’s extra special.”

Larry smiles, “He…?”

Nora smiles and shrugs, “Just a feeling.”

Larry stands up and walks back over to the machine, “So are you ready to see your baby?”

Nora nods. Larry turns the screen, giving her a full view of her special “gift”. The tears well up in her eyes, as she looked across the room and for a moment she saw him, his blue eyes sparkling, and that smile; that smile that always made her feel as though she was the only one in the world. She knew right then and there that she would live her life for their children, and all three of them are proof that Bo’s spirit lives on.

*~*

They arrived at Michael and Bridget’s modest house an hour after their plane landed. Bo walked into the living room, a cozy fire was roaring in the fireplace. An elderly woman, walked into the room. Michael walked over to Bo, “Ryan this is Mrs. O’Donnell, our housekeeper and she also looks after Michael and now Amelia.”

Bo walked over and shook her hand, “Pleased to meet you, Ma’am.”

“Likewise, Mr. Devlin,” she begins to walk towards the stairs. She turns back and looks at Bo, obviously wanting him to follow her. Bo walks over and follows her up the stairs. She leads him down a long hallway to a room at the far end, “I’ve prepared this room for you. I hope you will find it satisfactory and please let me know if there is anything you need.”

“This is wonderful. Thank you.”

“Lunch will be in a few hours. The bathroom is down the hall if you need to freshen up.”

Bo thanked her once again and waited for her to leave before he began to unpack a few things. If his assumption was right and these people could help point him in the right direction he wouldn’t be in Bray for very long. He took out a fresh shirt and pants and headed down to the bathroom for a quick shower.

A half hour later he walked out onto the terrace. Michael was sitting on the terrace watching his son play in the snow. Bo sat down beside him, “It must be wonderful to finally be home.”

Michael looked over at his new friend, “Yes, it is. I missed him so much while we were in New York.” He noticed the sad look on Bo’s face, “I’m sorry, Ryan. I can’t imagine how hard this is, knowing that there is someone out there missing you,” Bo nodded, “So are you going to head over to the Thornehearts, now?”

“Yes, after lunch.” He pauses for a few moments, watching Michael Jr. run around the yard, “I just hope they have the answers I need.”

“So do I, Ryan. So do I.”

Bo sat behind the wheel of Michael’s SUV staring at the directions Michael gave him. Bo waved as he backed out of the driveway. Michael’s directions were perfect and he arrived outside of the small home twenty minutes later. Bo turned off the car and sat behind the wheel for a moment gathering his thoughts. Ten minutes later he was walking through the front gate and standing at their front door. He was just about to raise his hand to knock when someone approached from behind, “Excuse me, may I help you,” he said in a thick Irish accent. Bo slowly turned around. The man stepped back, “Bo…”