Part Nine:
Bo walks down to the end of the hallway, walking into the sunroom. He sits down in a corner chair. He drops his head in his hands and gives into the tears that have been threatening to fall since he first saw her sitting on the terrace.
At the same time down the hallway Larry walks into her room to check on her, “Well hey there. I wasn’t expecting you to be up so soon. How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck,” she looks away, biting her bottom lip as she tries to keep the tears at bay, the memories of hours before coming back to her.
Larry walks over and sits down on the foot of the bed. He takes her hand, “Talk to me, kiddo.”
She turns her head and looks at him, “I can’t.”
“You’re going to have to talk to someone. I can’t spring you until you do,” he shrugs, “it’s the rules.”
She sits up, pulling her hand from his to wipe the tears with the back of her hand, “Fine…let’s get this over with.”
Larry stands up and walks out into the hallway. A moment later he walks back into her room with the last person Nora thought she’d see walking through the door. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, “Hi Nora.”
“What are you doing here, Susannah?”
Dr. Woleck called me when you were brought in. I was in NYC at a conference.”
“I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll come by and check on you in a couple of hours.”
They sat together for some time, neither one speaking. Susannah stands up when there is a knock on the door, “Come in, Bo.”
Nora looks up at Bo, “What are you doing here. I figured you’d be at the station.”
He walks over and sits down in a chair across the room, “Susannah thought we needed to finally talk.”
They sit in silence for a while, no one making eye contact. After an hour of sitting that way Nora turns and looks at her sister, “You two think I tried to end it, don’t you?”
“You’re the only one who knows the answer to that.” Susannah says.
“Well I didn’t.” she looks down at the IV in her hand and then over at Bo, “I could never do that.” Bo nods, the tears welling up in his eyes, “I just couldn’t forget fast enough.” She looked over at Bo, “Her blanket…”
“I know,” Bo said quietly.
“We believe you Nora, when you say you did not do this on purpose, but the fact is you did almost die.” She stands up and sits down on the edge of the bed, “You can’t keep going like this.”
“Like what?”
“The drinking…it’s not the answer.”
She looks away and shakes her head, “You sound like, Bo,” she raises her hands, “but you’re right, I still woke up with the same emptiness. It couldn’t take away the pain.”
She pauses for a moment and looks between husband and wife, “Speaking of your marriage, I heard you moved out.”
She shrugs, avoiding Bo’s gaze, “Yeah, well I just couldn’t stay there any longer. I needed to get away. Away from the memories, the emptiness…”
“Your guilt,” Susannah adds.
She turns quickly and looks at her sister, the anger flashing in her eyes, “I can see things haven’t changed, you still think you know me.”
“I do know you, Nora, and I know you’re blaming yourself.” Nora turns away once again. Susannah reaches out and turns her face, forcing her to look at her, “I’m right, aren’t I.”
Nora slowly nods her head, the tears flowing unstopped down her cheeks, “I shouldn’t have gone out that night. I knew there wasn’t anything I could do for Max at that time of night, but I went anyway. The doctor told me to take it easy, but no, I have to be there for my clients 24-7-365.” She pauses for a moment, staring straight ahead, reliving that night “I…I was singing; I wasn’t paying attention.” She looks at her sister, the pain of reliving that night evident in her eyes. She turns and looks at Bo, “I did it; I killed our daughter.” She finally chokes out.
Bo gets up out of the chair in the corner of the room. He walks over and sits down on the bed beside her. He reaches out and wipes the tears from her cheeks. He takes Nora’s face in his hands, “It wasn’t your fault,” Nora shakes her head. Bo stops her, slightly tightening her grip on Nora’s face, “Stop it, okay. Listen to me; it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault…it’s mine.”
Nora looks up at him, shocked by his confession. She shakes her head, “No…how can you say that, you didn’t put me in the car that night. I did; my need to always be there for my clients, that’s what put me on the road that night.”
“I should’ve insisted on driving you. I shouldn’t have let you get behind the wheel.”
Susannah reached out and took both of their hands in hers, “This was no ones fault; it was an accident, nothing more. Neither of you could’ve known what was going to happen that night, or stop it from happening.”
“But if…”
“Nora you can sit here and talk about all the ‘what ifs’, but it’s not going to change what happened. You have to stop hiding behind your pain; you have to stop hiding in the alcohol.”
“I…I thought if I kept myself numb I could think about her without it hurting so much.”
“You have to find a way to come to terms with Sarah’s death. You have to let yourself feel the pain,” she looks at both of them, “It’s the only way you’re going to heal.”
She looks over at Bo, “You’re hiding too, Bo. You’re hiding in your work.”
“I...I have to find him, Susannah. There has to be justice for our little girl.”
“But at what cost. Think about that, Bo.” Susannah stands up and looks between her sister and brother-in-law, “I love you guys, and I hate to see what this is doing to you both. I’m going to give you two a few minutes alone.” She kisses Nora’s cheek, then Bo’s, “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”
Susannah leaves. Bo turns and looks back down at Nora, taking her hand, “I have to do this. I’m sorry; I can’t give up. It’s the only way I can move on.” Nora just nods, seeing the same pain and determination in his eyes that she saw all those years ago. He stands up and lays his hand on her cheek, “I’m…I’m going to find him, Nora. I’m going to make this right for her…and for you.” He stands up and opens the door. He turns back and looks at her, “I’m going to make this right…no matter what it takes.”
He walks out into the hallway, pausing for a moment just on the other side of the door. He has no idea what her feelings are any longer, for him or for their marriage, but one thing was for sure, he was going to stop at nothing to giver her some closure.
Nora was released from the hospital the following day. Bo came and picked her up, dropping her off at the hotel. He took her key from her and opened the door for her. She walked in, throwing her keys down on the table. She turns and looks up at him, “You want something to drink,” she motions over to the kitchen, “coffee or soda?”
He looks up at her, “I really should get back to the station and you need to rest. I’ll call you later to see how you’re feeling.” He walks over and kisses her cheek before turning and walking out the door.
Another few months pass as Nora fights to keep from slipping backwards, and Bo continues to fall deeper and deeper into that dark place, as the anniversary of Sarah’s death approaches.
She walks through the gates of St. James’ church, the spring air carrying on it the smell of the lilies and other flowers growing in the nearby garden. She walks passed Drew’s grave, running her hand across the cold marble. She places a bouquet of flowers on the ground in front of his grave. She steps back and stares down at the inscription one more time before walking to the smaller marble stone next to his. She kneels down on the ground in front of the stone, brushing the stone clear of the fallen flowers from the cherry blossom trees above. She slowly runs her hands over the lettering, ‘Sarah Victoria Buchanan May 20th-May 21st 1999; Our beautiful gift from God.’
“I miss you, baby girl. We had such a short time to be together.” She looks down at her wedding band, “Your daddy and I sure have made a mess out of things.” She reaches up and wipes a stray tear from her face, “I wish things were different, angel. I wish we could’ve been the family we were supposed to be. I still love your daddy so much. I just don’t know if we can find our way back.”
He walks through the gates just seconds later, never hearing her words of love. He stands there quietly just watching her for a few minutes. He saw the flowers lying across the ground in front of his son’s grave and he smiled.
She looked up sensing his presence. Their eyes locked, holding each other’s gaze as he walked towards her. He stopped in front of Drew’s grave, adding his own bouquet. He looked over at her and smiled, “The flowers are beautiful.”
She nods, “I still miss him, so much.”
He walks over and kneels down beside her, “I know you do. You always treated him like he was your own.”
She looks over and Bo and then back down at the ground, “He was my son, in here,” placing her hand over her heart, “just as much as Rachel is,” pausing for a moment, “and Sarah.” She reaches back out to touch her memorial stone one more time before standing up to leave, “I’ll give you some time alone with her.”
She turns to leave, stopping when Bo takes her hand. He looks up at her, “Please stay.” She nods and kneels back down beside him. Bo looked back down at the marble plaque in front of him, running his fingers over it, the same as she did just moments before, “Daddy misses you, my princess. I’m sure you’re up there, with your big brother right now and you’re taking care of each other. I…” he looks over at Nora, “we love you, angel.” He places a kiss on the tip of his fingers then gently places his fingertips over her name.
They make their way out of the cemetery together, a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye as he leaves for the station and she leaves for her office.
Another month passes and Nora has been busy working on a new business deal for Renee, and Viki has retained her to handle some work for the Banner. She’s taken on a few pro bono cases to keep herself busy.
Their family and friends continue to try and bridge the gap that continues to grow between the two of them, and as their fifth wedding anniversary approaches they’ve decided to put actions behind their words.
Nora sits behind her desk, her fingers flying across the keyboard of her laptop. She pauses for a moment, taking a sip of her coffee before returning to the task at hand. A moment later her phone rings, eliciting a groan at the interruption, “Nora Buchanan…Oh, Renee, hi…no I was actually just finishing up a brief. What can I do for you?...Dinner, tonight? I don’t know, Renee, I was really just looking forward to a nice long…” she sits back in her chair and sighs, “Okay, yeah I’ll be there…7 o’clock sounds great. See you then.”
Bo sits behind his desk looking over his latest notes on Nora’s accident. He picked up his coffee mug, never taking his eyes off the file in front of him. He takes a sip, setting the cup down on his desk. His intercom buzzes, “Yes, Sophia.”
“Your father is on line one, sir.”
“Thank you.” Bo sighs before picking up the phone, “What can I do for you, Pa?...Dinner, you want to invite me to dinner…Why is that hard to believe, well it’s been ages since you called me up to invite me to dinner…Okay, okay, Pa. I’ll be there…7 o’clock is fine. See you then, Pa.”
Nora pulled up to the mansion just before seven. Bo pulled into the driveway just as she was stepping out of her car. Bo walked over to her and gave her a smile, “Dinner invitation for seven o’clock?”
Nora nodded, “Renee?”
Bo shakes his head, “Asa.”
She chuckles, “Gotta love em’”
“Yep,” he said, thinking to himself how much he’s missed hearing her laugh. Bo motions to the door, “Shall we?”
She nods and they make their way to the front door. A few moments later Nigel answers the door, “Commissioner Buchanan, Mrs. Buchanan, your father and Mrs. Buchanan are waiting for you in the parlor.”
Bo opens the parlor doors, both of them stepping back as the crowd in front of them shouts, “Happy Anniversary.”
They look at each other, neither knowing exactly what to say. They quickly looked around the room, everyone was there. Clint and Dallas, Viki and Ben, their children and their significant others, Hank was there along with Rachel.
Rachel walked over, pulling Nora into a warm embrace, “Happy Anniversary, mama.”
“Thank you, baby,” she pulls her into another hug, “God, I’ve missed you.”
She looks over at Bo, giving him a kiss on his cheek, “Happy Anniversary, Bo.”
“Thanks, Rach.” He said, returning her kiss.
Asa and Renee walk over to them, “Happy Anniversary, son…Nora.”
They both look at each other and then over at Asa and Renee. Nora walks away to talk with Rachel, “Thank you, Pa…but really, you shouldn’t have.” Bo says as he watches Nora from across the room.
“Hogwash”, Asa bellows, following Bo’s gaze. “It’s time the two of you stop this foolishness and get your lives back.”
“Pa,” Bo groans, “What’s going on between Nora and I is none of your business,” he sighs, regaining control of his feelings, “but we certainly do appreciate the thought.”
They make their rounds around the room, greeting their guests and accepting their warm wishes. Asa signals to everyone that the party was moving out onto the terrace. He nods to the band as they begin to play.
Many guys have come to you
With a line that wasn't true
And you passed them by (passed them by)
Now you're in the center ring
And their lines don't mean a thing
As the music begins to play they catch each other’s eye. Bo makes his way over to where she was standing, she makes her way over to him, meeting in the middle of the dance floor. He reaches up and wipes the tears that fell onto her face. He takes her in his arms, holding her for the first time in so long…
Why don't you let me try (let me try)
Now I don't wear a diamond ring
I don't even have a song to sing
All I know is:
La la la la la la la la la means
I love you
Oh, baby please now
Oh... baby
La la la la la la la la la means
I love you
If I ever saw a girl
That I needed in this world
You are the one for me (one for me)
Let me hold you in my arms
Girl, and thrill you with my charms
I'm sure you will see (you will see)
The things I am sayin' are true
And the way I explain them to you
Listen to me
The things I am sayin' are true
And the way I explain them to you, yes to you
Listen to me
La la la la la la la la la means
I love you
Oh, you'll have to understand
Come on and take my hand
They dance a few more dances before dinner is served. After dinner Bo notices that Nora has slipped away. He asks around but no one knows where she went. Finally Nigel comes in, telling him that he had seen Nora heading upstairs.
Bo excused himself and made his way upstairs, checking each room, finally finding her in the room at the end of the hallway. She was running her hand along the edge of a wooden cradle. He walked up to her, laying a hand on her shoulder, “I…I had no idea they had set up a nursery for her.”
“Pa told me the night of his birthday party. He…they wanted it to be a surprise for you.”
She turns around and looks at him, silent tears falling down her face. He reaches out and wipes the tears with his thumbs, cupping her face in his hands. They stare at each other for a moment, their eyes saying what their hearts were feeling, what they were afraid to say out loud. He slowly leaned in, his lips hovering just inches above hers. He looks in her eyes once again. She closes her eyes anticipating his kiss.
Their kiss starts out slow, soon turning passionate and eager. He breaks the kiss and takes her hand leading her down the hallway to his old room, pausing just outside the door. She reaches up, lightly caressing his face before pulling him into another kiss.
He reaches behind him, opening the door. They fall back slightly as they walk into the room. They stop in the middle of the room; their mouths still locked in their passionate kiss. He picks her up, carrying her over and laying her down onto the bed. He rose above her, looking deep into her eyes. She reached up, pulling him down on top of her.
An hour later, with their anniversary party still going on downstairs, they lie in each other’s arms, neither realizing that this night will change their lives forever.
TBC…
“La La Means I Love You” by the Delfonics