Part Ten:

John walks into the squad room, stopping to pick up his messages from Sophia’s desk before knocking on Bo’s door. Bo looks up from his desk, grateful for the interruption. He’d been at the office since the night before, and he could use a short break, “Good morning, John,” he says as he closes up the files on his desk.

“Morning Bo,” John says as he sits in the chair across from Bo. He looks at the pile of files on Bo’s desk, “You’ve been at it all night again, haven’t you.”

Bo stands up and walks over to the coffee pot. He looks back over at John, “Don’t start in on this again, John.”

“The case has been closed for over six months, Bo.”

Bo slams down the empty creamer container, “It’s not closed for me, John. It’ll never be closed. I will pursue this case. I will follow up on every lead, every detail, until I find out who was responsible for the death of my daughter.”

Realizing he wasn’t going to get anywhere, John decided to change the subject, “So how are things between you and Nora? Things seemed pretty cozy at your anniversary party.”

Bo picks up his coffee cup and walks back around behind his desk. He sets his mug down before running his hands over his face. He leans back in his chair and sighs, “I don’t know, John. We really reconnected the night of the party,” he sighs again, “but that was six weeks ago. We talk pretty much every day, we’ve had lunch, even dinner a couple nights a week, but we just can’t seem to get passed whatever it is that’s holding us back.” He stands up and walks over to the window, looking out over the squad room, “There’s still such a strong connection there, but…”

John stands up and joins Bo, “Do you still love her?”

Bo turns and looks up at John, the tears threatening to fall, “With all my heart.”

Nora looks up when there’s a knock on her door, “Come in…Renee.” She stands up and walks around to give her mother in law a hug. They step out of their embrace, “I have those papers for you to sign.” She shuffles through the papers on her desk, “Somewhere,” she mumbles. “Ah ha! Here they are.” She hands them to Renee. Renee sets them down on the desk and looks back up at Nora. Nora looks at her in confusion, “Aren’t you going to read them over?”

Renee looks at her, the concern and love she has for her evident in her eyes, “I’m sure they’re fine, but right now I want to talk about you.”

Nora looks down at her hands, resting on the top of the desk and then back up at Renee, “There’s really nothing to talk about, Renee. I’m fine.”

“How are things between you and Bo?”

She stands up and walks over to the couch. She stands there for a moment, her arms crossed in front of her, staring out the window. After a few minutes she turns and looks at Renee, “I don’t know, Renee. We really connected at our anniversary party. I mean really connected.” She sits down on the couch and places one of the throw pillows on her lap. She looks back up at Renee, “That was six weeks ago, and we talk every day, we’ve had lunch, even dinner a few nights a week, but we just can’t seem to get passed whatever it is that’s in our way.” She looks down at the pillow in her lap, absentmindedly playing with the fringe, “There’s still such a connection there, but…”

Renee walks over and sits down beside her on the couch. She lays her hand over Nora’s, “Do you still love him?”

She looks up at Renee, the tears threatening to fall, “With everything I am.”

Bo walks back over to his desk and sits down, “I don’t know if the love I have for her is enough anymore. She’s working so hard to try and get her practice back up and running. She’s trying desperately to keep from falling back into that place.” He shakes his head, “I just wish I knew what she needed to make her way back.”

“Have you talked to her about it?”

Bo shakes his head, “I just don’t know what to say anymore. I’m afraid if I say the wrong thing she’ll fall back into that place and I’ll lose her forever. She’s still walking a thin line, John, and I don’t want anything jeopardizing what she’s trying to rebuild.”

“You’ve made it through hard times before.” He states matter of factly.

“We did, and I thought we had come out the other end stronger than we were before. We’ve definitely had our share of rough spots, between Max’s twins, Georgie Phillips, (AN: minus Sam’s involvement of course)” he pauses for a moment, “Drew’s death,” he adds quietly, “but that had a lot to do with Sarah.”

“So what are you saying? Are you trying to say that Nora becoming pregnant was the only reason you made it through Drew’s death?”

“No, I’m not saying that at all. I know Sarah was a huge part of pulling me out of the grief, but she wasn’t the only reason or the main one; Nora was. She never gave up on me, but I think deep down Nora still thinks that Sarah was the only reason.”

Renee sits there beside her daughter in law, desperately wanting to take away the pain she was feeling. Nora took the tissue Renee handed her and walked back over to her desk. She sat down on the edge of it and looked back over at Renee, “I don’t know, Renee. I just don’t know if the love I have for him is enough anymore. He’s so obsessed with finding the hit and run driver that caused my accident. I can see the rage boiling just under the surface. I just wish I could figure out what he needs to move on.”

“Have you talked to him about how you feel?”

She stands up and walks around behind her desk, sitting down with a sigh, “I just don’t know what to say anymore, Renee. I’m afraid if I ask him to stop this search, it’ll just push him further away; maybe this is really what he needs to move on, he’s right there on the edge, Renee and I’m afraid to push him too far.”

“The two of you have made it through hard times before, darlin’.”

“We did, Renee, and I thought we had come out the other side stronger than we were before. I mean between Max’s twins, through the whole Georgie Phillips mess we even made it through Drew’s death,” she pauses for a moment, “mostly because of Sarah.”

“So you think the only reason Bo was able to put Drew’s death behind him was because you were pregnant? Are you trying to say there’s nothing worth fighting for now that Sarah’s gone?”

“I didn’t think so at first but maybe she was. I’m just afraid that this search is his way of holding on to her. I know he loves me Renee, I do. I can still see it in his eyes, passed the rage and pain, I can still see it. I felt it in his touch the night of the party, as we made love. I just know I can’t go down this path to closure with him, not the kind of path he wants to take. I can’t do it again, Renee, I can’t handle another endless search.”

John stands up to leave, “I’m going to say this as your friend and someone who cares about the two of you. You have to talk to her about this, Bo. You have to make sure she believes that she was the reason you came out the other side, after Drew. You have to make sure she knows how much you love her.”

Renee stands to leave, picking up the papers off of Nora’s desk, “I’m going to say this to you not as your mother in law, but as your friend and someone who loves the two of you so much. You have to talk to him about this, Nora. You have to make sure he knows that you love him, that you’ve never stopped. You have to be honest with him and tell him how scared you are about where this search is taking him.”

Bo and Nora sit behind their desks, thinking about what John and Renee had said just minutes before. Could they really make it to the other side or had they reached a point where the love would always be there, only to be overshadowed by the pain?

Two more weeks pass, more lunch dates made; some quiet dinners at the Palace, both too afraid to take that next step, too afraid to risk opening up…

Bo is sleeping on the couch in his office, when he’s jolted from his sleep by Sophia’s voice over the intercom. He jumps up, running his hands over his face, trying to wake up. He grabs the receiver, almost dropping it once before securing it between his ear and shoulder, “Buchanan,” he says; his voice still hoarse from sleep.

“I’m sorry to wake you, sir, but there’s a man on line two that says he has information about your wife’s accident.”

Bo sits down in his chair, “Thank you, Sophia.” Bo pauses for a moment, his finger hovering just above the button. He finally pushes the button, connecting his call, “Commissioner Buchanan.”

“Commissioner Buchanan, this is Joe Grady. I own the repair shop out on Mill Rd.”

“Yes, Mr. Grady, I’m aware of your shop. My wife and I have used your garage on occasion.” Bo reaches over and grabs a pen and a pad of paper, “My assistant said you had some information regarding my wife’s car accident last May.”

“Yes, I do, I mean I have no idea if it’ll help but I’ve been out of the office since a few weeks before your wife’s accident and yesterday while going through some of my files I found an invoice hidden in the back of one of the drawers.”

Bo sat up straight, listening intently to what Mr. Grady had to say, “What was the invoice for?”

“It was for some front end work and a whole new paint job, color change any everything.”

“That doesn’t sound suspicious to me, Mr. Grady.”

“No it’s not and usually I wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but my lead mechanic skipped town two days after the work was done on this individual’s car. I spoke with his wife the other day. They had been having some financial problems and when he left town she just figured it had something to do with him running away from his troubles. When she tracked him down and did some investigating for her divorce, her lawyer found him living in NY, with two million dollars sitting in his bank account. They finally got him to confess that the money came from a customer who needed some work done on his car in a hurry, and in private. Like I said Commissioner Buchanan, I have no idea if this is connected to your wife’s accident but I thought you might want to know.”

“Thank you, Mr. Grady,” Bo finishes writing down some notes, “Oh, before I let you go, by any chance was there a name on the invoice?”

Bo waited patiently on his end while Mr. Grady looked over the invoice, after a moment he spoke, “There doesn’t seem to be any name per se, but there is a notation in the margin that reads, ‘Mr. Starr.’ I hope that helps.”

“You’ve definitely given me some place to start, Mr. Grady, thank you very much.” They said their goodbyes a moment later. Bo picks up the pen, gently tapping it on his front teeth, while he reads over his notes. He grabs his keys off the desk and walks out the door, “Sophia, I’m going out, I’ll be on my cell if you need me.”

At the same time across town Nora sits out on her terrace. A small box sits on the table beside her, a pink and white stick in her hand; two blue lines in the window. She stares straight ahead, tears slowly rolling down her face...

TBC…