~Family Ties~

~May 2002~

She couldn’t do it; something just didn’t feel right when they were together. She’d moved past him being Colin’s twin a while back, and she knew it had nothing to do with Sam, whatever they had died long ago, if it had ever really existed.

He had wanted to take their “relationship” to the next level, but how could she when even a kiss tied her stomach in knots. Maybe she’d never be the same after the train wreck, maybe any chance at a normal life and relationship ended when she lost Bo, when she lost her memories of her life since their breakup.

She reaches out and pulls down the visor, blinking as the harsh light invades her swollen eyes. She squeezes her eyes shut trying to stop the flood of tears threatening to fall at the thought of Bo. He’d told her long ago why they were over, but it didn’t make the loss any easier to bear.

She raises the visor shutting out the harsh lights. She looks out the window, noticing the neon glow from the lights outside of Capricorn for the first time since she’d pulled into the parking lot. She had left his loft in a hurry, driving on autopilot, stopping here when her tears had blurred her vision so much that it was impossible to continue. She looks up at the night sky, wondering why she came here of all places, across town from her home, from the place where she usually went to shut out the world, but not tonight, home was the last place she wanted to be.

She continues to stare at the flickering neon lights, the buzzing from the sign filtering through her opened window. She leaned back for a moment and closed her eyes. What the hell she thought to herself, if ever she deserved a night of forgetting, tonight was that night.

She reaches across the front seat, throwing the tissues off the seat as she searches for her purse in the darkness. She opens the car door, using the overhead light to illuminate the car as she tries to make sense out of her disheveled appearance. She throws her compact back in her purse and checks in with her parents, telling them to tell Matthew that she loved him and that she’ll see him when he gets home in a few days.

She climbs out of the car and straightens her skirt, checking to make sure she had righted her clothes, knowing she may have forgotten as she ran out of his loft without looking back. She walks up to the front door, the soulful strains of the jazz band filtering through the door as a few patrons filter out. She pauses outside the door, her hand hovering inches above the door handle, finally pulling it open.

She looks around the crowded club. She took in the colors and the music, the lighting and the overall setting. It was nice she thought to herself and found her self smiling a small smile at this token of a father’s love for his daughter. She walks around the row of booths and tables and walks towards the bar.

He looks up from behind the bar, his frazzled expression quickly changing to a smile when he sees her, “Hey there beautiful, what brings you to our fine establishment tonight?” She forces a smile and he notices, “Uh oh, what’s going on in that gorgeous head of yours?”

She shakes her head, willing the tears not to fall once again. Not here, she thought to herself, she was here to forget not to remember, “Bourbon….actually make it a double.”

“That bad, huh?,” he asks with a concerned look.

She nods as she downs the drink, grimacing as the liquid burns her throat going down. She places the glass down on the bar and pushes it towards him, “Give me another.”

He tilts his head to the side, “Nora…”

She looks up at him, the emptiness he sees in her eyes breaking his heart, “Max….please.” she pleads.

Max fills her glass up and moves on to the rest of the patrons demanding his time. He glances over at her as she motions to the other bartender who fills her glass once again. He’s sidetracked once again before he can make his way over to her. Just as he breaks free RJ walks behind the bar, noticing her for the first time. He sees the same emptiness that Max had seen and he sees the glass in front of her.

He notices Max walking towards her. He holds out his hand, pushing Max back towards the corner of the bar, “How many has she had, Max?” RJ asks pointing at Nora.

Max sighs, “I served her two doubles and I think she’s on her fourth by now.”

RJ looks over at her and back at Max, “Get her out of here, Max, her and alcohol is the kind of trouble I don’t need, not this soon after opening. I especially do not need our very own Police Commissioner hounding me because I let his ex get plastered in my establishment.”

Max looks over at Nora, “It’s a public place, RJ.”

“I know Max, but this is something that you’re just going to have to trust me on. Please Max, get her out of here.”

Max hands RJ the towel he had draped across his shoulder. He walks out from behind the bar and takes the seat that someone had just vacated beside her. She turns and looks at him, the effects of her four double bourbons already evident. She smiles, he smiles back, knowing her smile was only because of her numbed state. He reaches out and lays his hand on top of hers, “Hey there, honey. How about I take you home?”

She furrows her brow and holds up her empty glass, “I don’t want to go home…I want another drink,” she slurs.

“Okay,” he says taking the glass from her hand and placing it back down on the bar, “we don’t have to go home, but we can’t stay here.”

She looks around the room. She slides off the barstool, grabbing onto Max’s arm as the room begins to spin. She grabs his hand once the room rights itself and pulls him off his stool, “I wanna dance.”

She pulls him out onto the dance floor and wraps her arms around his neck, slowly dancing to the music playing. He glances over to the bar and notices RJ who motions his head towards the door. Max steps away from her for a minute and looks down at her, “Come on, honey, time to go.”

She tries to walk away from him, back towards the bar. He grabs her hand and spins her around, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. She is so stunned that it isn’t until they’re out in the parking lot that she begins to beat on his back with her fists, “Put me down Max Holden. Put me down NOW!”

He walks over to his car and opens the door, dropping her into the seat with a thud. She tries to get out but sits back when she notices the look on his face. He closes her door and walks around to the driver’s side. He climbs behind the wheel and sticks the key in the ignition. He’s just about to turn in when she places her hand on top of his, “I don’t want to go home, Max, anywhere but home.”

He looks at her, the tears that she was trying so hard not to show, welling up in the corner of her eyes. He takes their hands and drops them down between them, “Okay, then where to?”

She looks out the window and takes a deep breath, “The ocean, I want to walk on the beach and feel the wind in my hair.”

He looks at her and nods, “Atlantic City here we come,” he says with a wink.

He opens the sunroof, letting the cool spring air in as they travel south. The salty sea air blows through the car as they get closer to their destination. He pulls his car into a public parking lot, slipping a few one dollar bills into the slot and waits for the gates to rise. He quickly finds a parking space, the time of year and time of night, giving them their pick of spaces. He turns and looks at her and she looks at him and nods. They open their doors and step out, both walking towards the distant shore in silence.

He pauses when he sees her shiver, “Wait right here,” he says laying a hand on her arm halting her advance. She stops and turns, watching him as he runs back to the car. A moment later he’s by her side once again, blanket in hand. He shakes the blanket open and wraps it around her shoulders, “Here you go, that should keep you warm enough.”

She silently smiles her thanks and wraps the blanket around her. They continue to make their way to the beach, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore getting louder the closer they get. She pauses for a moment when they first step onto the sand. She holds the blanket closed with one hand and begins to remove the sandals from her feet. She wraps the straps around her finger and closes the blanket tight around her as they begin to walk again.

They walk along the beach in silence, the waves and the seagulls the only sounds they could hear. She stops halfway down the shoreline and turns and stares at the water, the reflection of the full moon illuminating the waves as they crash against the shore. He turns when he hears her release of breath before she speaks for the first time in almost three hours, “When I was living in Chicago and I had to get away I used to do this exact thing. I would go down to the shoreline of Lake Michigan and just walk, let the wind blow through my hair, and lose myself.”

He glances over at her and then back out at the water in front of him, “So is that what you’re doing now, losing yourself?”

She looks up at him, a single tear falling onto her cheek, “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Max. I don’t know anything anymore; I can’t trust anything that I’m feeling, that I’m thinking. I don’t think I even know myself anymore.”

“You’re still you, Nora. That hasn’t changed.”

She looks down at her hands, wrapped tightly around the blanket, her shoes dangling from her finger. She shakes her head, “I don’t think so, Max. I don’t think I’ve been me for a long time.”

Max nodded knowing what she was referring to. He hasn’t seen her this broken in a long time, not since he stood in the back of the country club ballroom and watched her life crumble around her. He reaches out and wipes the tears from her cheek. They stare at each other for a moment, him hesitating to comfort her, her trying so hard not to need it. Max nods letting her know it was okay to need him, to need anyone. She walks into his open arms, allowing his embrace to give her the strength to fully give into the tears.

He breaks their embrace and wraps his arm around her shoulder. She lays her head on his shoulder and lets him lead her back down the shoreline. He knew she needed time and he was going to give it to her. They leave his car in the parking garage and make their way to the nearest hotel. Ten minutes later they were walking into their suite. She walked over to the chaise and drops the blanket on top of it, dropping her shoes onto the floor.

She walks over to the desk and picks up the phone, pressing the zero. She places her order adding one for him. Ten minutes later she answers the door. She takes the tray from him and places it on the table, handing the waiter his tip. She walks back over to the table and picks up the bottle she had ordered for herself. She breaks the seal picking up the glass, returning it to the tray before making her way over to the couch.

Max watches her from across the room, wondering what was going on in that mind of hers. She hasn’t said a word since they were on the beach. He walks over and picks up the other bottle, breaking the seal the way she had just done moments before. He walks over to the couch and sits down beside her, propping his feet up on the coffee table beside hers. He looks over at her and smiles; she returns his smile with a small smile of her own. She picks up the bottle and holds it between them. He gently clinks his bottle against hers as they both take a drink.

Hours later, after finishing their bottles of bourbon and closing down the piano bar in the hotel, they walk along the boardwalk…heading towards an unconscious destination, one that will change their lives…and what they are to each other forever….

TBC….