Chapter Thirteen:

Bo kept his promise, well on his terms of course. He did stay away from Nora, except when he brought Matthew to see her, but he never left the hospital. He sat outside her room all day and when he knew she was finally asleep for the night, he would go in and sit with her for a little while and then head to the room next door that Larry had set aside for him.

Rachel was the only other person besides Matthew that was allowed to visit Nora. Nora told Rachel everything that happened to her except for the rape. She couldn’t bring herself to talk about it, and Rachel knew there was something her mother was holding back.

Rachel arrived at the same time every morning, which was also the time that Bo was up and looking through the window waiting until Nora woke up.

“Hey, Bo.”

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Bo, you look like hell. When’s the last time you went home?”

“I’ll go home when your mother does.”

“You two amaze me you know that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play stupid, Bo. You still love her don’t you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re as stubborn as she is.”

“Your mother’s awake. I’m going to go down to the cafeteria for some breakfast.”

Rachel rolled her eyes and sighed as she watched Bo walk away. She always knew deep down no matter what either of them tried to do, they still loved each other. They were both just too stubborn to admit it.

Rachel walked in the room and sat down next to her mother’s bed. Nora quickly tried to wipe her tears.

“It’s too late I already saw them.”

“Good morning, baby.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“The tears, and don’t tell me it’s nothing.”

“I just need to get out of this hospital. It’s been two weeks.”

“Larry says you still have some recuperating to do.”

“I can recuperate at home just as well as I can recuperate here.”

“I don’t think those tears have anything to do with being in this hospital. I think they have to do with Bo.”

“Why would you say that? Bo has nothing to do with this!”

“He has everything to do with this. Do you realize that he’s been sitting outside of you door every day and every night even though you’ve banned him as a visitor. He hasn’t left the hospital except to go pick up Matthew. He’s let you push him away and I don’t understand why you’d do that.”

“I have my reasons.”

“My God, mama. Why do you have to be so stubborn? Why can’t you see what everyone else sees? Why can’t you just be honest with yourself for once in your life?”

“I don’t need this right now!”

“No, this is exactly what you need! You need someone to point out how stupid and blind you’re being!”

“Please, I need you to leave.”

“No way, you’re going to look me in the eye and you’re going to admit to me that you still love Bo, and then you’re going to tell me the whole truth about what happened to you at that cabin, and why you’re using it to push Bo out of your life. I’m serious Mama; I’m not leaving until you do!”

“Fine! You want the truth; I’ll give you the truth. That bastard raped me. He took a piece of my soul every time he touched me. So you see it doesn’t matter that I love Bo. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never stopped loving him, no matter how hard I tried or who I claimed to love. All that matters is that I can’t be with him, not now, not ever.”

Rachel reached out and took her mother’s hand in hers.

“I’m so sorry, Mama. Why didn’t you tell me before this? Why did you keep this all to yourself? Does Bo know what happened to you?”

“I think so. I’m sure he knows its part of the official police report, so I’m sure he knows. So you see, Rikki, this is why I can’t be with him, he deserves so much more.”

“What?! That doesn’t make sense. You love him and he loves you.”

“He doesn’t love me, Rachel, and it’s because I love him that I can’t be with him.”

“What do you mean he doesn’t love you? Didn’t you hear a single thing I just said to you? That man has been here every day and every night for the past two weeks. He never left your side when you were in a coma. He was the one who brought you out of the coma. His love for you brought you back. I can’t believe you can’t see that.”

“He was here for Matthew, because I’m Matthew’s mother.”

“You’re more than just Matthew’s mother to him. You’re his heart and he’s yours, but you’re the only two people in this world that can’t see it.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway, Rachel. Even if Bo loved me I can’t be with him. He deserves more than what I can give him.”

“Why do you think he deserves more than you. You used to be all that each other ever needed in life, and you can’t tell me that that’s ever changed. I saw how broken Bo was when he thought you were dead. I saw what it did to him. I saw what it did to you when you got some of your memory back and only remembered being married to Bo, and then finding out that the two of you weren’t together, and why. But being the stubborn people you are neither one of you would admit that you needed each other, and you’ve both wasted so much time, and spent too much time with the wrong people.”

“I can’t give him what he’ll need, what he would deserve from the woman he loves,” she said quietly.

“What are you talking about, Mama.”

“I can’t give him what a lover could give him.”

“That’s ridiculous. When two people truly love each other they can get through anything, even this”

“See but that’s the problem, I’ve already done so much to him, I won’t cause him anymore pain. Don’t you get it, I’m unlovable now.”

Unbeknownst to either one of them, Bo had overheard everything they talked about. He walked over to the chairs by the elevators and sat down. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He pulled out the small picture of the two of them on their wedding day. He held it up and looked at it, his tears freely falling down his face.

“I’ll show you just how desirable and loveable you are, even if it takes me the rest of my life.”